No Limits

A comment Cam and I seem to be getting quite lately is "why do you do this to yourself?" "Don't you have enough going on?"  "You're getting a puppy while going to school, raising kids, living in a shop, building stuff, and your husband is now going to be working on a remodel out of town on the weekends..... Hmmmm, I totally get the generalized reaction and completely agree we may be mentally imbalanced!!!! Our plates are heaping and overflowing, we are bursting at the seams and never seem to have enough hours in a day!  I'm not quite sure why we seem to continually exist in chaos, but luckily for us, it's rarely tradgedy, or bad circumstances that make it so.  In all honesty, it's generally (ok probably more like 129%) our own doing, and I'd be lying if I said we would be content without some sort of action packed, swashbuckling adventure at our fingertips. P.S. so excited to get a puppy and add to the family! 

After a short trip home, Cam returned me and the kids to our Eastern mountain, and he journeyed back to the coast to continue working on Rudy's place for the duration of the weekend.  I felt bad leaving the work crew, but with school starting, I needed to return to the books and try to get a little down time with the kids.  Unfortunately they returned home with colds, so I have been putting my nursing skills to good use ever since..around the clock!  Cam worked from dawn til dusk cleaning out the house with the help of his family.  It's going to require a bit more attention than we had first anticipated, so he will be using my three day weekends to travel back and spend the time working, while me and the little ones hold down the ponderosa.  It's hard to complain about the blessing we have been given, but it will definitely take a bit of creative scheduling and some major elbow grease.

Some might wonder if I'll be ok up here alone.  Besides being away from Cam (which I honestly really hate), I don't mind it.  I feel safe and generally at peace up here.  Me and the kids spend our days wandering around (when feeling well), exploring, and generally have quiet days-- we eat breakfast for dinner, and have lots of snuggle time.  I stay up far too late, but am generally super productive because I don't have anyone to talk to after bedtime hours, so suddenly dusting sounds thrilling, and homework flies by.  On one of my outings with the kids this past weekend, we did have a major discovery..... As you can see, based on the specimen to the right, it seems the bears have made it out of hibernation!  Just a side note--- pictures of "droppings" are fairly common in our family, it's a learning opportunity---strictly science... and "market research" for hunting season!  Found in our "draw," just past the meadow we first called home, we came upon this exhibit while on a walk about.  Post discovery the kids did their best growls...... all the way home.....  Also, just a side note, some people may recommend bear bells, or talking loudly to alert these large animals that you may be coming so as not to scare them... I'd recommend two small children under the ages of 5.  They make enough noise to  alert the bears in half of Okanogan County that we are indeed in the area!  Also, when in doubt a firearm gives you a bit of added confidence as well.  Nonetheless, I have been dying to see the first bear of the year, so we have had our eyes peeled, which in Barrett's opposite world means you walk around with your eyes shut. 

Today was back to business for me.  The first day of spring quarter.  I have to say it felt significantly better than the last two, so I must be getting used to the program... thank God it only took six months!  Should be another busy one, but such is our forte!  I'm starting to see the opportunities this career will allow, both for my family and for my own personal growth.  It's amazing the people you connect with, and the difference you can truly make.  It's a good feeling. 

Spring is in full swing around here.  I never knew it could be so green in the hills around us.  It looks like a different world.  Lush almost... at least for now.  They are already calling for an extremely dry year, so I am trying to enjoy the green as much as possible.  I truly look around and am sometimes just in awe of this place we now call home.  The sky, the hills, it seems endless, and we get to explore it all from our door, or simply sit and revel in the world we are a part of.  I can't wait to live up at our house site where we will have a view of it all.  I'm sure our porch will be available for anyone who needs some view/quiet therapy.  I'll even make ya dinner! 

Raising Them Up

SO YOU MEET SOMEONE

THE ONLY ONE

YOU TAKE EACHOTHER BY THE HAND

MAKE A STAND

BUY SOME LAND

MAKE SOME LOVE 

AND THEN THE BABIES COME

AND YOU RAISE THEM UP

RAISE THEM UP

TROPHY HIGH

TO THE SKY

SHOW EVERYBODY THAT NEWBORN SMILE

RAISE THEM UP TALL AND STRONG

RIGHT FROM WRONG

SO DARN HIGH THEY CAN HEAR GOD SINGING ALONG....

Sometimes you hear a song, or something enters your mind and you just can't get it out, you dwell, toss it around with your to do list and let it rumble along with your chores.  This Keith Urban song hit me the other day, and I have to say, it's lodged in my brain like a sliver.  You think about kids in the terms of "raising," and it's the normal daily grind again; teaching manners, keeping them fed, clean, and warm, and hoping they don't cause a scene in public.  But maybe raising has a different intention.  Raise them up trophy high, to the sky, tall and strong.  WOW people, now we are on to something.  

Obviously this move was in some regards self serving for Cam and me.  For as long as we've known eachother, we've been making plans to be here, someway somehow.  It started to consume our life, every conversation on our back porch revolved around this life, this move, and how to go about it.  But as parents we too are searching for our own legacy to leave our children; not a better one in any regards, but our own.  I don't know if you've noticed, but the world is a bit of a mess right now.  Debt, war, drugs, terrorism; let's face it our kids can't even safely attend school,or a movie.  And let's not forget skills.  I grew up KNOWING my dad could do anything, just as Cam did his.  Fixing things, providing, making things, building, growing food, raising animals, doing things for yourself.  These are things that are vanishing.  On top of this, now, not only does our society not have skills, but they have social media, that basically makes a joke of any morality a teenager should hope to have, and any confidence they are already struggling to find.  We're sort of a mess.

I'm sure we idealize Eastern Washington a bit, imagining this quintessential homeland of our ancestors that was built by cowboys and pioneer women, with a neighbor to lend a helping hand; but I have to say, I know our kids will have a bit of a different experience over here.  Small towns definitely have their own shortcomings, no town is perfect, and this one is sure to be ripe with social hierarchy.  But it makes me happy that our 4 year old can identify a pine tree or aspen tree, knows that pine cones make the pine tree, and our 2 year old is quite an accomplished deer poop tracker.  HA!  It makes me glad they run on dirt all day, and exploring doesn't get old.  We've really been contemplating the homeschooling subject lately.  Do we want them to be completely isolated from society... no.  But something is missing in the childhood equation of today.  I spoke with a friend who recently got a job at a school back home, and she was telling me about the appalling number of kids who make frequent visits to the school nurse for anxiety..  lunch is to be served in 5 minutes... and soon will no longer even be prepared on site but shipped in hot boxes to the school.  One homeschool criticism is always that homeschoolers are socially awkward, but it sounds like if you took a look, or checked out Facebook, it might be quite the opposite.  

What if we taught our kids what they need to know to be functioning human beings?  What if we gave them skills that will enrich their lives, not take from it? What if we allowed them time to be kids, get their roots deep enough before they are given wings or iPhones?  What if we gave them time to build confidence and an identity before the drama scene.  What if we raised them up, above it all, to know that no government or school, or group of friends, or parents for that matter can forge or deter you from your path, it's up to you and your own bootstraps.  Just an age old newfangled idea.

Over The Mounatins and Back Again

I completed my second quarter of school last Wednesday.  I ended up doing really well and am happy to report I am 29% of the way through this program.... not that I'm counting down the days or anything.  It's amazing the time and energy invested by all in Team Brown to get me through this program, and I have to say it is encouraging to see the fruit of my labor, and hope that feeling will continue through the final 71%.  Things always look so much more pleasant in the spring too.... the sun has been out, it's warming up, and we've been starting on some fun projects around here.  We've
been getting back to hiking around with the kids, and it warms my heart the little projects and imaginative play they come up with together.  They love picking wildflowers for mom, and I often come home with bursting pockets full; it reminds me of the pride we'd have when my grandma would put buttercups in a fancy vase after we we collected them just for her. 

Spring break started right off as we hit the road shortly after I got home from my final exam.  The time has come to begin the process of cleaning Cam's grandfather's home and prepare it for the real estate market.  It's a bit of a daunting task both emotionally and physically, but it is something that needs to get done.  Going through a lifetime worth of belongings with Connie was emotional!  It's amazing the stuff that you collect, and the memories that are left behind when you pass; a trail left by generations of family.  I really felt honored to be part of Rudy's life, and we of course are blessed to be left with so much--both in mind and hand.  Possessions are given meaning by the people who
touch them, the feelings behind them, and the moments they are part of; we pass things on not because we love the color or pattern of a plate that could easily break, but because of the meals that have been served, the conversation that has drifted over them, and the thought that someday, far after you are gone, you will still be a part of the breaking of bread and family togetherness.  I always tell Cam semi-jokingly that I try to do tasks with love, whether it's painting a chicken coop or cooking, maybe it's that same concept, that a little piece of us is left behind for those who come after.
 
Our geographical circumstances have obviously changed a bit though, and we have our work cut out for us with the cleaning and maintenance that needs to be done.  I will be staying here with the kids while Cam makes the journey over the pass to work on the weekends.  It will be tough for a while, but as I have told Cam, we haven't seem to found our limit yet, so I'm sure we will get through it.  For us it seems to come in storms; why wouldn't we get chicks, a puppy, a remodel job, and be separated while going to nursing school???  I often wonder what Rudy would think of our move.  I'm not sure he'd ever really tell us, but I think he'd like the adventure and have plenty of memories to compare it too.  We were able to visit a few family and friends, and even get a date night while we were home, and as always are so thankful for our families help and support with our seemingly never ending projects.  Our shop on the eastern hill is definitely beginning to feel more like home though, and driving home today felt good as the traffic thinned out, the blue sky appears, and you just take a deep breath and slow down

for a minute.... Right before you blow a trailer tire!  Luckily, we were near a gas station right outside of Omak when it happened, but we felt that tell-tale shake (I'm very familiar with flat tires after having 4 since moving) saw the smoke, and our journey was halted.  Not for long though, Cam had that baby changed in no time flat, and we were back on the road, for a short trip home.

The kids were excited to try out some new garden tools my mom got them, so hit the dirt/gravel pile while we unloaded the truck and trailer.  It will be a busy couple days before Cam heads back over the mountain.  I have chicken coop doors and windows to paint, homework will be starting soon, and with the nice weather, we have rarely been inside.  Our farming projects will be pushed back a bit with my farm hand busy elsewhere, but I'm hoping to at least do some container gardening, or maybe a couple small beds.  Under the dry top layer of dust, the soil around here seems surprisingly fertile.  We really enjoy seeing the seasons change in a new place, and although we know the next few months will be challenging, I'm sure they will be filled with new adventures and small triumphs as well. 

Pouring Concrete

I believe both Cam and me have inherited a bit of Gypsy from our ancestors.  We both have within us a taste for "something" new, are rarely 100% satisfied, and haven't, as of yet, been able to sit back and watch the sunset without wondering what will be on the other side of it.  It's something we talk about working on, being able to just enjoy a moment without chaos, but it never seems to quite work out that way.  Like they say though, hard work never killed anybody, and as crazy as our world gets, our elbow grease seems to always get us one step closer to sitting on the front porch enjoying what we have created.   

Well the wood project has finally come to an end.  Cam figures we have around 16 cords... an amount that should last us a FEW years.  Three weeks of splitting, stacking, moving, and a little bit of cursing; we should've kept track of how many hours Cam was hard at it.  I've always really enjoyed chopping wood for it's therapeutic exercise/stress relieving factor, but I'd say I'm ok taking a break for a few years, I'll find other ways to enjoy myself!  Nevertheless, we got it done, and I do have to say seeing the massive plot of diced up timber is something to behold... and be proud of!  We returned the wood splitter to our neighbor for a trade of around a cord of firewood, and took the afternoon off.


My dad had made the journey over to visit us and I'll admit we were not very good hosts.  We put him to work helping us with the wood and when we finished, he got kid duty while me and Cam got a few moments to ourselves.  It was so nice to have him here though, and to show him the progress we had made on the shop and surroundings.  He was amazed by the quiet in these parts, and the kids sure enjoyed him as did we.  Looking forward to the day when we can ride horses again together and explore; and he can put up a little cabin for visiting.  

After he left, we didn't waste much time in getting back to work.  I had my first of four final tests before the quarter is over next week, and we started on the chicken coop.  Cam's had some creative building ideas, and we have collected some salvaged materials from around the property, including some old planks for siding, windows, and a door.  He's hoping it will turn out like an old western building!  I ordered up my chicks, so we should be back in the egg/meat business this year!!!  

There is something about these projects we have been working on... Something well concrete about adding to the ponderosa, setting down some roots/posts and forging our way of life.  We both have made note of this transition several times in the last couple weeks, and I have to say we both seem to be smiling because of it.  I, of course, have always dreamed of the farm life, I love my ducklings under my wing and look forward to all things that this life will bring: fresh food, working together, exploration by horseback, and simple skills passed on.  It gives me motivation to get through school; to be able to work hard for my family... and hopefully someday enjoy the perks of a good job (why not buy a few more cows??).  Cam of course loves calling home a place where mule deer rule the hillsides, and he really excels at homestead skills and looks forward to more self reliance.  I can see him running the smoke house and packing home the food that shares our land and will provide us with the food we need.  We feel like we have changed the trajectory of our arrow... and have no regrets.  Maybe 6 months is a settling in point, or we are just enjoying the "fun" building projects, or maybe it's soaking in that we jumped... and landed on our feet. 

Oh Sunday...

This picture pretty much sums up how I feel about Sundays!  I think the Hebrews got it right having Saturday as the day of rest, when you can really appreciate the down time.  Sunday starts out so happy and at home, loving life, family time, and then boom... you're packing up to go back to the grind.  Like what the heck happened to the weekend?  Did it really just disappear??






We had a good weekend here on the 'ol ponderosa.  I had a 13 hour clinical day Thursday, so was more than ready to spend some time at home.  I got a couple gorgeous morning runs in, in the wee hours before the family was out of bed.  The sun is coming up around 6 or so, but until it raises above our Eastern hill, it's quite chilly still (28 or so).  Nonetheless, there is something therapeutic about being out in the morning, and I have to say I have some of the best running ground to explore.  I am certain to improve my leg muscles quickly, as there is only one way to go around here, and that's up.  It's definitely a happy place for me, getting that fresh air exercise, and I don't miss out on family time if I'm early about it.  Things that are different about running over here: Riggs has not worn a leash for months, vertical feet are plenty, cougars and bears are the only creeps I worry about, and I can't remember the last time my piggies hit the pavement....
 
Cam has put some major hours into firewood lately.  We had that log truck load delivered a bit ago, and Cam figures its anywhere from 10-15 cords of wood.  That's a lot.  The kid's are finally over their stuffy noses, so we were all out working on the project throughout the weekend.  Cam borrowed our neighbors wood splitter, and went to work.  We like to argue like an old married couple about the proper way to do wood... I like to chop it normal, and Cam has been wanting a wood splitter for some time.  I tell Cam that it's good for my hand eye coordination in case I ever need to pick up a baseball bat again, and there's something satisfying about chopping wood.... it's the homesteader's gym replacement, not to mention the best source of heat.  That being said, if you saw the pile of wood I'm talking about, you would probably slap me in the face and high tail it to the North 40 (the farm store in Omak) and buy yourself a wood splitter just to HELP Cam.  He figures it will take him through this week at least to finish.... Which is SUPER exciting because then it's chicken coop time. .... YAYYYYYYYYYYYY! I'm pretty ready to have my brood, and fresh eggs back.  I ordered my second catalog from this family owned operation in Iowa that ships out heritage chicks, so I am ready, to say the least!  They do seeds and poultry, mail in order only, no internet... and I sold all the ones I had from them last year when we moved; I had some really cool looking ones, so hope to try them again!   

After our chores were done, we took a drive up to check out Lake Chopaka.  It's North-west of us; taking a gorgeous route through some amazing Double R Ranch cattle land.  Cam salivates about coyote hunting, me about ranch life.... It's a good Sunday drive for all.  Icy roads deterred us from making it to our destination, but we enjoyed the scenery that's for sure, and will try again in a month or two.  As you can probably tell by now, our social life is a lot more reserved around here.  I'm consumed with school, we live somewhat isolated, and we really did want to slow down....  So we do things like talk, entertain ourselves, explore, Cam drinks too much coffee in the mornings and makes us laugh... Really revolutionary stuff people, I highly recommend it!