The Rooster That Crowed No More

It was a peaceful evening on the ponderosa.  Blue skies, a soft breeze, and the long-awaited warmth of the sun beaming down on our faces.  The kids frolicking with the animals while Cam and I were tending to chores.  Positive energy buzzing through us all, as these are the moments when we feel like our dreams have come to fruition, we breathe deeply: inhale the views and exhale all worries.  We are really getting into a groove, when out of no where...... terror strikes.  The youngest member of  Team Brown, Kendyl, is pinned against the fence screaming in sheer terror at her assailant.... A one year old, prime time rooster, who's hackles are raised, chest is puffed, and mind is in pure attack mode.  A swift kick might send him spinning, but the three year old farm girl is paralyzed with fear, seeing her short life flash before her and reflected in the eyes of the prize fighter.  Out of no where comes Dad, flying around the corner on white steed with pitch fork in hand.  I scoop up the little one, and Dad attacks.  Blind fury might have described it well, the rooster ended in a pile of feathers, spurs relinquished, and dead as a door nail.  

And All That Was Left Was Feathers

Life with children, two legged or feathered is always interesting.  There always seems to be something to keep us up at night, make us laugh, or inspiring action.  For Cam, the sound of terror from our daughter, was enough to elicit a primitive protective response.  Lesson One: kids should know they are always safe in the realm of their parents/family--a safety net that envelopes them, an altruistic and consistent family structure that enables them to grow, explore, and simply be, without hesitation.  Having a rooster, and undoubtedly an ornery one, is one of childhood's rights of passage; yet we seek to teach to protect our little's members, which means we might eat a few more roosters until she comes of pitch fork bearing age.  Lesson Two: Make soup, harvest the bounty, waste not a young (ish) rooster.  After the killing spree, we talked it over a bit, and despite the multiple chores we had going on, we decided to butcher the rooster, as an example that it's simply unjust when one lives on the land to kill and throw away.  So, Cam butchered him up while the kids watched.  Kendyl collected some feathers for projects, and despite a few exclamations of nastiness, the kids tolerated the whole thing quite well.  **I must inject that while I was plenty excited to cook him up, be it age or brutality of killing, he tasted much like a well seasoned piece of rubber-- but the fruits of the lesson were hopefully a bit sweeter. **        

This was an interesting beginning to a long weekend in our neck of the woods.  I was happy to have a four day stretch off, and my dad was set to come over to check out the new horse, Chief,--- oh and help Cam out a bit with the house as well.  I was able to volunteer at Bear's school on Friday, which I always enjoy, and then it was truly the well deserved weekend.  After preschool, we got to work on the house, with a goal of setting all the floor joists.  Just as we were getting started we heard traffic on the drive, and the arrival of two more unexpected guests-- Cam's folks!  Like I've always said, people know when they come, unless it's the dead of winter, it's probably going to be a work weekend!  It brought back memories of the good 'ol days on Loomis Trail Road, which honestly seems like a project we just wrapped up.  Much of the same banter, and grumbling about measurements, techniques, things we would rather be doing.... Didn't we just finish building a house... and the like.  My job was to clear the foundation of rocks... and thus I was officially deemed "Rock Chucker," for the weekend, leaving me with sore arms and blistered hands!  I know this project rests primarily on the shoulders of Cam, but I'm rather excited for it myself, and it feels a bit different this go round.  We don't have a month old newborn, Cam's not maxed out at work, I'm on the downhill slide of school and better able to be good support, and we live in Eastern Washington!  Couldn't get much better than the view from our future front porch, in my opinion.

Not a Bad View!

The guys met their goals for the weekend, and did some on the job troubleshooting along the way.  We've had good food (minus the chewy 'ol rooster), and have all slept well at night.  My dad and me got up early Saturday and saddled up both horses to hit the trails.  We rode up past the lake near us, and traversed the snow to get on to another back road system near us.  Man, it felt good to be riding again together, I have many memories of riding as a child, and my dad just has a way with horses, as he does most things.  I'm getting used to this big old gelding, so it was nice to have someone to ride with, and felt so good that it was him!  We put our mounts through a good workout, with quite a grade going down the far side of a hill that takes you back out to the road a few miles down.  Dad, who was riding my mare, felt bad thinking she had a bit of a tender foot, and hiked with her all the way back up.  Meanwhile, I told Chief not to get any ideas looking at that setup, and kept him on his training plan.  I came back with a big smile on my face, and hopes for a lot more of that in the future.

Big Chief, Me, Vera and Riggs --Dad behind on Kit, the Wild Mustang

The weather has suited us quite nicely, bringing out me and the kids' freckles.  It's sure nice to see the sunshine and blue skies, and it's nice house building weather to boot.  We had a monsoon rainstorm last night, but it came after sleep and was nice out upon rising.  There is more water sitting around here than we have ever seen, which will hopefully help mitigate the fire season this year.  Next on the docket is to lay the floor panels on, and order up the framing package.  We have quite a substantial front/view wall, so the logistics of setting that is a big topic of conversation around here.  I've got a week and a half left of this quarter, and 93 days on my overall countdown.  Things are really shaping up!       

Tuesday Update:  Had an amazing spring day today.  Me and the kids woke, made coffee cake and headed to the lake with our "homework."  We are on letter V for Volcano, and Bear is really getting good at all his letters and sounds.  We hiked the mile up to Turtle Lake, had a snack and did our workbooks.  Headed home for some more work, snacks and nap time.  Double naps= outside/horse time for mom.  My neighbor gal and I had quite the ride Sunday night.  With all the runoff from the snow melt, many of our gravel roads now have small creeks running through them.  It's so strange to see in our usually dusty habitat.  What a ride!  And a good trust builder for my big guy and I.  Today's ride went well, and I'm getting used to being much higher in the sky than with my little mare.  After naps it was back to hiking.  The kids and I set off with some water balloons (Bear talked me into it), to our meadow, and heard the sound of a waterfall coming down the hillside.  Upon further exploring, we found quite the fall coming down by our neighbors spring.  Bear looked at me with wide eyes and said "WHERE does it come from????"  I am not one to squelch curiosity so up the hillside we went lugging the treasures we found in the burnt terrain along the way.  We hiked straight up and found the "source,"  which was several run off creeks coming down from the mountains.  Kendyl was encouraged when her brother exclaimed "B you have made it so far and you're just a little girl."  You could see her light up, and she didn't ask to be carried the rest of the day.    We arrived back home full of adventure, and not ready to stop.  So we asked Cam to pack up some wood, I grabbed some hot dogs and we headed to Fish Lake for a weenie roast and some more fresh air!  The kids watched a little otter play on the ice, and enjoyed hot dogs and smores.  I tell ya, life doesn't get much better than today.

The Story

"But These Stories Don't Mean Anything, When You've Got No One To Tell Them To, 

It's true, I was made for you"--- Brandi Carlisle

It's been a while since I have had the time to sit down and write.  I've started several posts, but as easy as it may seem, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and these blogs actually take me a fair amount of time.  A lot has happened since I have written last.  As I look back at my last post, it seems we have weathered the winter; and what a winter it was!  We have heard stories from the locals of three feet of snow by Thanksgiving, but like most things, those stories are part of the past and rarely happen anymore.  That being said, many people have told me that this year was one of the "most wintery winters" experienced in quite some time, with more snow than there has been for years.  I've said it many times, but living over here wakes you up to the world around you, and reminds you that you are at the mercy of the skies.  When you move to the mountains you have a utopia like dream of watching the snow fall silently from your window, hot cocoa, and snuggly nights..... which in reality translates to plowing snow, shoveling animal pens, building fires, and preparing for the next snow storm.  At the most I'd say we had three feet of snow, more in the meadow and up the road a bit.  Enough that hiking was not easily accomplished, and most the sage was good and buried.  Our driveway became somewhat of a tunnel, narrowing each week with 4-5 foot banks of snow on the edges (nice for when your car does not want to drive straight on ice).  Cam spent many hours on the tractor and 4-wheeler preparing the driveway for my commute to school and to keep up with the accumulation of inches; and a neighbor with a bulldozer and one with a plow helped a bit too!  The work it takes to do simple things like drive out the driveway didn't elude us, and we were grateful for the tools we had, or I think I would've been snowshoeing out the driveway every morning.  The kids relished in it, and Bear became a child of the winter, not caring if he had wet gloves, but wanting to be out for a good portion of the day.  Kendyl did much better this winter, as she'd grown enough to tolerate the cold and to be more mobile in snow gear and inches of powder, and eats enough snow to keep her satisfied.  The animals fared well, but chores are definitely not as easy when you have snow to plod through and hoses to thaw.  The goats had one main path from their house to the gate where I bring in feed, and the chickens had a shoveled out patch to scratch, but stayed inside quite a bit more.  The horse stayed thick as a pork chop and got around much better than we expected, I even rode quite a bit!
  

Fish Lake- Scouting for Camping

Despite our adaptation to the seasons, we were all happy to see the ground as the snow melted, the blue in the sky as the snow clouds lifted, and to feel the warmth of the sun as it's started to make it's presence known.  We hadn't realized how confined to our property we had been until we could venture out a bit farther.  The thaw has also been a bit different this year, to the joy of our driveway, it didn't cause as much damage.  We still have snow in the meadow and the large piles that Cam pushed up, but for the most part we can see land.


The winter wasn't all fun snow days though.  Cam and I lost three grandparents between the two of us.  While I try to use age appropriate language, the best description that I can think of is that it sucked!  A life may be full and long, but death affects many more than those it takes.  I am happy for the end of suffering, but our time in this place never seems like quite enough.  Memories are a precious thing: I know Cam's grandparents loved to read the stories of our adventures over here, and were proud for what we were doing for our family.  And I will NEVER forget his Grandma shooting my paintball gun, or all her colorful (very non-Grandma like) jokes that were oh so very funny coming from such a nice little lady.  What a gal.  My grandpa gave us countless fun childhood memories on their island or in his motorhome, cooking up potato pancakes and corned beef hash, taking us golfing, fishing, and giving us colorful life lessons such as how to make homemade blackberry liqueur in your RV shower or to play dominoes for big bucks (quarters, not pennies) with their Arizona friends.  Having kids of your own makes having grandparents even more special, because you want them to feel those same feelings you grew up with, and I know the visits we had were appreciated on both sides.  Barrett has always been a very observant child with a sharp memory and he's been saying lately that he now knows five angels.  Great Grandpa Rudy, Art, Grandpa Coey, Grandma Honey... and Elvis (haven't had the heart to tell him the latter may have had some explaining to do at the Pearly Gates).  One thing I do know about death, is it makes you think about life, the story you're creating and the legacy your leaving behind; your own story is a miraculous thing that you have the power to shape.

Call for Ordering Options!!

Life must move forward though, and it tends to at a quick pace around here.  With the melting of the snow, Cam has gotten right to work on the house, putting the sill plates on the foundation and starting to lay out the floor.  He's also been building some furniture (tables, benches, etc.) to sell, and just got his first custom order this past week!  I've been plugging away at school, and am almost to the under 100 day mark on my countdown.  It's amazing the challenges that arise, and the stubbornness it takes to get through them without quitting or going crazy.  I'm looking forward to regaining my place at home, and to be making a bit of money for working so hard.




Ponderosa living is quite nice, especially with the days getting longer, warmer, and brighter.  Today I was up early and went for a three hour trail ride with my neighbor on an adjoining ranch with an amazing view of the valley.  I picked up a gelding out of Kettle Falls, and he is a beast!  He was used as a pack horse in Montana and Idaho and later by a gentleman who was tracking wolves in the back country.  He's got some experience, good training, and some spunk.  We will see if we can work together when I get the opportunity to put the time in.  He's a beauty.. a big black quarter horse that moves like an athlete.  This afternoon we were off to the wedding of a classmate in Havillah, a little ranching town with the cutest church you've ever seen.  It's fun to be building friendships and becoming a part of this community.  There is rich history around here, I have met some amazing folks in the hospital and clinics across the county, and heard many amazing stories of families homesteading and farming.  It's sad to think how far we have deviated from the rich life of simplicity.

Next on the docket is more of the same!  House, school, projects, and FAMILY.  Planting fruit trees is a priority this year, and I'd at least like to pick out a garden spot and get a few things in the ground to start to learn how to garden in this climate; tall fences are a must though, so we will see what we have time for.  I feel like we are trying to be intentional not to just overwhelm ourselves with projects and not allow for some appreciation of daily life.  Things may take a bit longer than planned, but a story is not just about the ending, it's the tales of the journey that fill your book.      
  

The Winds of Change

Snow Pack in the Meadow

The bitter cold has subsided, snow has stopped, and temperatures have warmed up to a balmy 32-35.  This has been change enough to create some significant melt, and has allowed us to catch up on various tasks that have been frozen for the last month.  Our driveway is a bit messy and slick with slush, but the snow has become heavier and at least has been compressed.  Getting out of our driveway has proven to be a bit tricky (even with Cam plowing), but we haven't had any hang ups as of yet!  I was able to muck out the chicken coop today, which has been a frozen mess as well.  Unfortunately with such deep snow the chickens have been much more confined, which leads to a much larger mess.  After several days of warmer weather though, I was able to clean it out and get the chickens out of the coop for a while.  There is something about a clean chicken coop that puts a smile on my face when I go to bed.  Happy chickens=happy eggs!   I've also been getting out and riding my horse a bit, while trying to take it easy on the snowy terrain.  It's past riding season for many people around here, but after speaking with several friends about riding in the snow, I decided to give it a go so as not to lose a whole winter of training.  I'd say I've definitely found my match in stubbornness, and am enjoying working with her, while finding my confidence back in the saddle.  The kids are also enjoying their time on Kit, and this makes me very happy.  Hopefully come spring we'll be ready to put the miles on.

Besides fun on the ranch, I am in my first week back to school following winter break.  The first day is always tough and makes me question what I am doing to the very core.  Driving away from your family is something that is not a natural thing for me, and it kills me to do so.  Nevertheless, I am so close to the finish line, and I'm feeling very motivated to focus hard on these final two quarters.  Less than 6 months....around 150 days to be exact.  I'm glad I'll be working in Tonasket this quarter, which means a 15 minute commute, and a lot less gravel.  Cam has also been doing some career searching, and while I don't want to give away anything before it comes to fruition, it certainly is a topic that has been on our radar.  We are lucky to have our neighbors and a few good friends to help out with childcare, and the details of balancing our schedules.  I do miss the ease and security of having family around to help in times like these.  We are not ones to leave our children with any random stranger, and it burns hot in my heart to think of doing so.  I'm trying not to get ahead of myself with worry though, and just trust that it will all work out as it should. 

Coyote Decor--And a Shed Found on Our Property

Cam's been able to do a fair bit of coyote hunting recently, both on his own and with one of our neighbors down the road.  We seem to be gaining solid connections around here, that luckily have access to some amazing country!  Everytime he comes home he has great tales of the land, and people he has met.  He also made several stretcher boards that will be used to stretch fur.  I talked him in to letting me put one fur on my chicken coop, and I think it suits it just fine!  We also recently came across some guts, yes literally guts (cow in origin), and Cam placed them strategically within shooting range of the shop.  We're thinking coyotes, wolves, who knows what we will bring in??!!!.... RAVENS..... that is what we have heralded.  Ravens, crows, and HUGE eagles.  Now when we ride or hike through the meadow, all I can hear is eagles chattering away.  Not exactly as Cam planned, but cool nonetheless (they are enormous birds); and the more I thought about bringing coyotes and wolves closer to my home and animals, the more I was ok with birds.




There sure seems to be a lot of craziness happening in the world right now.  It's hard not to wonder and worry how it's all going to play out.  While I love our seclusion from the "busy side," I worry what kind of world will be left for the little ones.  My mind seems to be steeling itself and focusing intensely on them, and creating something they can always safely return too.  I'm hoping they will love the country as much as we do, and that we can all learn skills that will be useful to live a simpler life.  It's time to buck up, and make it happen!   



 

A New Year

I am back to the blog-o-sphere.  Sitting at my desk has become such a time consuming part of my life, that I needed a bit of a break from staring at the screen.  That along with, processing life and trying to put it to pen....... it's harder than you think and self reflection can be a trying process.  My writing has been rejuvenated in part though, after receiving a compilation book of all my blogs from Dottie.  It's something to look back and read about our last year and to see all the changes that have come about.  The kids have changed so much in one years time, and I think Cam and I have as well.    

It's 7 degrees outside right now.  I got up early to start the process of preparing for the coming quarter of school and get a few things done around the shop (most importantly getting the fire going for when the little ones awake).  We have had snow since the week of Thanksgiving (about when it started last year) and it has continued to stack up with temperatures remaining at freezing or below for the majority of the time.  It feels like a true winter this year.  Last year we had several periods of thaw that left us with a lot of mud to trudge through, but alas, this year has stayed cold and I'd say we have over a foot at our house with two feet of snow in the hills.  We have been enjoying it!  The kids seem to have grown enough to withstand the temperatures for longer time periods, and this year Barrett has become quite the winter adventurer, not minding wet gloves or a cold nose in the least.  We have been sledding, snowmobiling, building snow caves, and drinking plenty of hot chocolate in the meantime.  Cam has spent a good amount of time plowing snow to keep our road and the area around our shop clear; we also have two neighbors with snow plows, so that doesn't hurt our travel time either.  The snow has been so light that Cam's 4-Wheeler has no problem moving it, and we haven't been hindered much.  Kendyl continues to stay hydrated eating all the snow she possibly can, which is fine so long as it's not from the driveway, or other dirty areas.  The animals also seem to be holding up well in the weather, and the goats seem to even be growing around the middle.  I rode my horse bareback in the snow for the first time yesterday, and I was pleased with how she did, and I must say it was pretty fun.  Cam thinks she looks like a Budweiser commercial running through the pasture with snow flying!   I wonder if the severity of the seasons around here will ever get old to us???  For now, we enjoy the variety, revel in the changes, and seem to be rising to the challenges that the seasons bring.  The beauty of the winter is something else. 

The Couple That Pours Together...

I've had almost a month off from school after a busy fall quarter.  I think we have all enjoyed the break, and while we haven't been entirely productive, I think it was a good hiatus before the final 6 months of my schooling, Cam's return to work, and house building.  In our usual just in the nick of time fashion, Cam and I got the stem walls for the foundation poured (just before it started snowing).  I'm not sure if your wife is the best option for concrete help, but with the help of a neighbor, we got it  done.  I will never forget Cam and I standing alone up at the house site, before our help arrived, and hearing the concrete truck start the journey down our driveway.  Cam and I looked at each other like, well, here goes nothing, and I felt a tinge of remorse for my husband... knowing how much preparation he had done.  Luckily our neighbor arrived just in the nick of time, but it was still interesting have a couple of non-professionals pouring concrete.... luckily we had a patient driver.. and thanks to Cam it turned out
great!  For now though, house progress is halted by the weather, and our floor materials sit under a tarp and a foot of snow. 

The first snow this year fell on November 24th .  Kendyl was unfortunately down with quite the fever/cold, so Bear man and I had to head out early to enjoy the first flakes.  The anticipation builds when the first snowflake is seen in the forecast, and Cam was in full swing hunting.  We enjoyed Thanksgiving with friends, and watched the snow continue to fall.  The Sunday after the feast, we took to the mountains on a search for our Christmas tree.  I wanted a massive one, figuring that a perk of living in a shop, is tall ceilings.  We headed up towards Conconully and scanned nature's Christmas tree farm.  Strangely we found a huge grove of noble firs and blue spruce, that looked just like a commercial farm, minus the manicuring.  We settled on a giant that just about touches the ceiling.  Every Christmas I think how awesome it is to have a tree in the house, and this one definitely topped most.  We had a bit of a hard time finding our stored Christmas decorations, so the kids and I collected pine cones from the property and bedazzled them with glitter, lending a wonderful homemade sparkle to our living room.




The holidays and several months after are also our family's birthday season, with the littlest Brown starting us off.  Kendyl, the fabulous and fierce "B," celebrated her third this year.  What a force she is.  She certainly has a voice that demands listening, and a spirit like nothing I have seen.  She is quickly finding her own path, while keeping up with her brother's.  For a mom, having a daughter is a very special thing of course, but also a sacred responsibility, for your thoughts and actions become those of a little one, giving such power to all you do.  I certainly have areas to improve, but I know I do my best to love my little ones, and look forward to a lifetime of living strongly for and beside this girl.   

Barrett also had his time to shine in his preschool Christmas program.  Man, he looked sharp!  And I'll admit... he was probably the best jingle beller up there... but really needs to work on his lip-singing... not too convincing up there!  Pretty cute to see, so much joy in the faces of little ones this time of year.

After my school let out we were able to visit my Grandparents and join my family in Whistler for a snow filled weekend of relaxation thanks to my brother.  We ate too much food, enjoyed the village, and lived the life of luxury.  Returning home, we had little on the to-do list besides enjoying the winter weather.  Cam pushed up a bunch of snow in the meadow for the kids to play on, and soon devised a plan for a snow cave, which he is still saying he's going to sleep in this winter (I said go ahead!  Single digit weather = a bed and a fireplace).  We also took our first whole family journey on the snowmobiles.  I certainly agree with Cam now that even though they are loud, they are an awesome tool to have around should we get snowed in and need a way out the driveway.  We saw land that we have not seen for several months, that is now under two feet of gorgeous powder.  It's been so cold, the snow has stayed gloriously light.... virgin powder that skiiers would drool over.  I have a bit of learning to do on the snowmobilies, but I did enjoy getting up in the hills.              

Christmas around here was pretty peaceful.  Santa was in full force, and the kids were happy.  We ate good food, visited with neighbors, and enjoyed the day for what it brings to the little ones.  Definitely a change from boisterous holidays at home; and I must admit there are pangs of emotion over holidays past, but there is also intense ownership in being on our own as well, and creating purposeful memories.  As the New Year rings in, I have plenty of new goals for the year, with effort focused on my family at the top of the list.  I'm still narrowing down the specifics, but I know that progress will continue marching forward, but the story line will be focused on the minor details, the day to day activities and interactions that define the accomplishments of a year.  Morning snuggles with kids that sneak in your bed, continuing to build an exciting and grounded world around our family, new careers to support the home, and growth.

      

Reaching Goals

I'm not sure how this blog thing comes off at times.  I tell Cam all the time how hard it is to write about yourself, but I try to think of it as more of a family record; a tale of our journeys and a record to
 someday look back upon.  When there are pauses, it's usually because I am either busy with school and looking at my computer for one more second is second only to imprisonment... or I'm thinking on things a bit myself.

As always, things around here seem to be eventful....to say the least.  There has been plenty of forward momentum.  On my own personal front, I passed by state board LPN test.  While only a stepping stone to my goal, it was a hard won accomplishment, and while the day passed somewhat uneventful, it was large in my own personal scope.  I began my schooling for nursing in 2009 after meeting Cam and deciding that I needed a career of my own.  I have taken classes through two pregnancies (morning sickness through chemistry is not fun), the building of our first house, and the raising and moving of our family.  I will be the first to say that I don't always handle the stress well, but I also know that I strive for a level of results that I know I can produce, even amongst many other responsibilities for which I feel the same.  My studies occur from the hours of kids bedtime to whenever I can keep my eyes open, and sometimes seem quite irrelevant to the life we are living and creating.  Nevertheless, being an OFFICIAL NURSE has it's glory in my heart---- I have something to show for all this work, I have a good career waiting for me and my family, and I stuck it out despite wanting to quit so many times I can't count.  I feel like not only myself should be given these credentials, but Cam should have a new title too.... like Spouse  of Nursing Student Survivor (there should really be a support group).  I often think that I might have thrown in the towel, had I not had three people that I'm willing to work so hard for.  Anyway... that's my own little horn tooting; and I still have MANY tests to go.

On my husband's side of this operation---- He
not only got the revisions on our house plans done, submitted, and approved by the county, but he poured our foundation!!!!  Building a house is a bit of an undertaking, and I know I just take for granted the fact that my husband can do most anything, but it is sort of a big deal.  Around here you are constantly racing the seasons, there are brief windows of prime times to do most anything outside, and we are on the brink of winter, with snow already in the mountains and the snow levels dropping everyday.  Not only that, but we also have to work around my school schedule and two kiddos that still need plenty of attention.  Nevertheless, Cam is moving right along, and has a few tricks up his sleeve to possibly extend our building season should the weather not get too cold.  Watching your home raise up is a very cool feeling.  Even standing up there by the foundation is exciting; looking out over our view we just feel like we are in heaven.  I love windows and being able to see around me, that is one area I struggle with living in the shop... but up there on the hill, being able to watch the world around me, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  That front porch will be a popular place in a year or so.  Next on his project list is pouring the stem walls, and then on to lumber.  I'm pretty lucky to have a man with skills!

Besides adding to our structures, we have also added to our animals.  I got a horse!  A paint mare I found from a gal in Omak.  I'd been looking on Craigslist, the rest of the internet, and the local ads, pretty hard for a while now, and found a fairly good deal close by.  After our Anniversary passed by with the flames of the fire, Cam told me one night that I should just find a horse to celebrate our 5th year.  I acted quick before he could change his mind!  Kit is what we have shortened her name to, and the kids and I are head over heals in cowboy love.  I've done a bit of riding around here, but she's been pretty spooked after moving to a new place and being away from other horses... I also think she spent most of her time in an arena, so the real world is a whole new adventure.  My neighbor though has been down to help out a bit and offered the chance for me to ride along with her and some other folks to move cows.  REALLY!  I told Cam I thought it would take me a couple years to break into the cattle drive circuit around here, so I just about did a happy dance after she asked.  Her and I rode out our driveway (a mile and a quarter) to trailer out a few miles up the road.  We moved some stray cows out of the field and up the road to meet up with the rest of the herd.  Mind you, this is some of the finest and most beautiful cattle country around... I honestly thought I might have died and gone to heaven.  There, we separated the cows that have yet to be "worked" (given their immunizations and the like) and brought them through the shoot.  I had no problem getting right in there, and enjoyed meeting the old rancher and his crew.  They had some good horses, and were very nice folks.  After a couple hours of working cows, we pushed them back down the road with our horses, and Diane and I set off on a trail ride all the way home.  We traveled over this ranchers land, and it allowed for a straight shot to our place, and a view of some prime country.  Saw a huge buck, and a couple old homesteads.  Kit did better than I expected around all the craziness of the cows, but I fear she's a bit of a sassy ol city horse, so we will see.  As my neighbor says... "life's too short to ride a bad horse," and should I need to hire out, I think I'll need a mountain horse.  If I ever had a bucket

The Littlest Cowgirl

list... I would say I could cross driving cows off my list and put it right back on to be sure I did it again. There was something amazing about the day, like sitting in my great-grandma's saddle, life had just come full circle right back to where it was supposed to be.


The excitement of the weekend did not stop there.  Cam had been itching to get back up to the woods, so we took off after the kids woke up this morning.  We headed up the wilderness valley where we live, and to an area we have traveled around before.  Cam has an elk tag, so that was still on our radar, and I had my shotgun for grouse should we see some.  We hiked up several different areas, coming back to the truck for snacks and cocoa as needed.  I can't say we've ever had a bad time in the mountains, and this was no exception.  Nevertheless, little legs can't go quite as far as Cam and my eyes travel, so we have to remind ourselves of that quite often.  We saw good sign most everywhere we went, heard one very suspicious noise, which we still haven't quite identified, and explored a few new roads.  Driving down one, I even got a crack at a grouse.  Cam still reminds me that the first grouse I shot I blew to pieces, so I try to be a bit more careful of my aim, and this was a good shot.  I always tell Cam hunting like this is a bit like a drive by shooting, but it put grouse nuggets in the kids' bellies tonight, so I'd say that it was successful.

When I look at this weekend, I know we are on the right track.  There are weekends and days that are not quite as glorious as this one was, but the struggle is what is making these fun times happen, and making them so sweet!  Me and the kids recently got a chance to go home for Halloween, and we had just a blast seeing everyone.  The kids played so well with their cousins, and had some very sweet moments.  I see all us cousins making our own way in the world, and it's very cool.  I'm so proud of them all and the way they are creating their own stories, and building their own families.  I miss being a part of them all at times, but I know they feel the same about us as well, and understand our desire to be here; and I like standing out here on our own accord.  Today we also found out that Cam's Grandpa Art passed away peacefully in his sleep last night.  It's hard to not be home in times when family usually comes together.  He was a good guy and we are happy that he did not suffer, and will hope that Honey is ok in his absence.  We often forget how precious life is, it's best to make the most of it.    

The Taming of The HighLands

Its the Cowgirl Way

In one of my favorite movies of all time, the cowboy classic The Man From Snowy River, (which I could probably recite from beginning to end, and can play most of the songs on the piano), Young Jim, who recently lost his father is distressed when the local good boys ol boys on horse back club shows up at his family ponderosa and declares that Jim must head down to the low country to work.  They state, in a perfectly dramatic Australian baroque  that living in the highlands is an honor, and "you've got to earn your right to live up here."

Maybe I'm just an old soul, but man, you should really watch the movie!

I guess I'm also a bit of a romantic.  If I could cross the prairie on horse back with my family in tow,
my husband fighting of wild animals while I was tending kids and cooking dinner from gathered roots... I totally would.  Sometimes I look around this property we have, and I think I'm not that far off from a modern version of my romantic wonderlust.  It's been work, seemingly endless work, but there is something to say about looking out over un-populated land, that is very satisfying to the soul.  These parts are a bit like the Australian highlands... "one minute paradise, the next it's trying to kill you," but I'd say over this last year, we've proved our hardiness, and earned these views.

And now, we are beginning to tame them.  More fencing is going up; not as we speak for the farmhands are off in dreamland, but we made some good progress on a large pasture today.  I can't even explain the satisfaction fencing brings.  Not only for adding to our ponderosa, but for all the possibilities of four legged creatures.... SIGH!!!  Very exciting!  We are making this land ours, fence post by fence post.  Beginning to know the contours and rocks of our land in a personal way!

Unfortunately farming is not our primary life's work.  I've been back to school, and man it has gotten right to the point.  I've been busy with 12 hour shifts, and lots of homework.  I've really been enjoying my opportunities in the hospital this quarter, and am really starting to feel like a real nurse!  It feels good to make progress, and I have the countdown to graduation in June in sight.  Cam's been working on a job in town on his off moments, along with getting our revisions for the house plans to the building department, so we can get started on that.  Luckily we are having a gorgeous Indian Summer/Fall, and despite the dusty
landscape, Cam's got us prepared and ready for winter when it does come.  He's had hunting on the brain, and has gotten the chance to escape to the mountains several times, bringing back a nice coyote on one of his trips.  The kids were fairly interested with the fur, and Kendyl was quite intrigued by the coyote ear she found in the driveway....  Better than cartoons I reckon!  Bear recently went on his first school field trip---a bus trip up to Conconully for a "nature walk."  I don't think he was amazed with the nature walk considering that's a daily task around here, but man riding the bus was something!  He was very excited to ride in a real, genuine, YELLOW, school bus.  It's funny how these little minds
work, but definitely satisfying to see them enjoy life.
    
Having a nice reprieve this weekend, with Cal and Dottie and family friend's John and Pat visiting.  As I've mentioned before though, our visitors only get 15 minute breaks morning and afternoon, so they've been roped into fencing as well.  The last time they were here, the shop was but posts in the ground, and the trailer was where we dwelled.  One of these years we will just sit around and enjoy the view, but for now I fear we aren't the best entertainers.  Nevertheless, we have enjoyed their company, and appreciate all the help. 

Moments of fall have been in the air, but up until today, we've been existing in eternal summer.  We've had a couple trips up to the mountains to do a bit of scouting, and have been taking advantage of the nice days.  Today though, brought clouds, a bit of rain, and the fog.  It was much needed as our landscape is still parched from fire season.  It's a much different feeling going into the winter season this year.  Definitely much more manageable and not quite as overwhelming.  We know we will be warm, dry, and hopefully not have to thaw our pipes every afternoon.  We will have a little space for the kids to roam, and the wisdom of knowing that at the end of a long winter, comes a new variety of challenges.  This year though we will also have momentum... knowing that my schooling is coming to a close, there will be a house on our hill, and I believe we've gained a bit of confidence in the strength of our family.   

The Future

Last Wednesday was quite a milestone.  Barrett's first day of preschool (which really should be phrased Barrett and Family's 1st day of preschool)!  I shall preface this article by stating that we all survived with minimal tears shed, no dramatic scenes, and have since attended day 2 of preschool, with day three coming up tomorrow.  Who would have known what a decision preschool would be... Should he go?  Is it really necessary?  Where should he go?  What sort of bad habits could preschoolers possibly inflict upon our pure 4 year old (not to mention the cesspool of germs)? Is it
normal to leave small children with complete strangers and not insist on some sort of web-cam or GPS so you can monitor the goings on during the two eternal hours he's there to ensure no foul play?  And when foul play occurs, is it normal to envision the scientific torture you will inflict upon the abusers?  Preschool people... it's apparently a big deal.

  

The Schooling of the Home

While we are still thinking of homeschooling if possible, we decided, after the aforementioned contemplation, to enroll Bear in preschool for several reasons.  My biggest kicker was that it's only two days a week for two and a half hours a shot... NOT THAT BAD; let's face it, I already have a hard time leaving the kids for my own schooling, we certainly don't need to extend the torture.  Number 2 I had a solid recommendation of place and teacher from a classmate of mine; solid gold when you are a newby in town!  Furthermore, we do believe that some time out of the wilderness will be beneficial; a HUGE emphasis on SOME, minimal, eensy weensy time.  While I do not subscribe to the one standard fits all for ALL children, and I am a huge proponent of the authority of GOOD parents over their children (as in I'm the expert of my child--not the doctor or the government), there are areas that we have been working on with Barrett to progress in, the primary of these being his speech.   We would obviously like to equip our children with the tools they need to operate in the world around them.  And, while the Mama Bear in me is alive and well and able to deal with adversity, I'd like the kids to gain confidence without Mom.  Speech is something that allows not only communication, but also friendship, expression, imagination, fun, and closeness; all skills I would like my children to feel "successful" at, while at this age where they are growing, exploring life, and building confidence.  While he converses quite readily at home, we have been well trained to understand the nuances of his language, and hopefully a bit more social interaction (with outsiders) will broaden his audience.  And finally... a bit of alone time is another reason I really considered preschool for Bear.  With me so busy with school, it is rare that the kids have time apart, and let's face it, we all need a bit of alone time every once in a while.  I absolutely love the relationship the kids have MOST of the time; but it is important to have a bit of distance to determine one's own identity... without arguing about who's looking out who's window or entrapping the wee one with spidey webs.

Many would say social skills are the biggest reason for preschool, but I think Cam and I would both agree that modern social skills are a thing to be feared rather than appreciated.  As I watched Bear navigate the first day drop off, I was pleased with his caution and manners.  While most showed no regard to the hierarchy of the sink for hand washing, he was fine waiting his turn.  Now, let's talk about the climax of starting preschool... THE FIRST DROPOFF.  Cam and I have both been talking up preschool pretty well for the last oh... month or so.  Our kids have been home with me, and now Cam for most of their life, and if not with us, Grandparents have been the go to.  Cousins next.  They have stayed with less than a half a handful of people that are not family.  We are constantly around people, but they are supervised primarily by us.  I won't get into the goods of that, but the downside is they are probably less ok with change than a child who gets a bit more variety.  So dropoff was crucial.  I took Bear to check out his school a few weeks ago, and while he enjoyed the 1 on 1 time and the playground, he promptly told me that if I left him at that place he would most definitely "run away."  Yikes, not words to elicit confidence from Mom.  Needless to say, he did really well at dropoff, despite telling us later about a few "secret tears" he had after I left because he was nervous.  I wanted to tell him I had a few secret tears while waiting in the parking lot expecting him to jump the fence, but we just went to Dairy Queen instead.  Day One=Success

Since he has begun, Cam and I have had some funny conversations.  Does Bear have the street smarts to survive the gauntlet?  Cam won't stand for him to be picked on... will he know what to do if he is?! How is a parent supposed to deal?!  While Cam and I are firmly grounded in the strength of our family, there are always questions, parent guilt, worries, and sleepless nights.  There is always the next challenge ready to take on whatever progress you think you have made.  As Cam always says "unfortunately individual kids DON'T come with owners manuals that tell you exactly how to get the best food to energy ratio, or detail troubleshooting steps."  It's more of a fly by the seat of your pants sort of operation, even though I'm so convinced that you are right... you're child is perfect; I don't believe or expect our children or parenting to be.  We're in this journey together!  Bottom line is, jury is still out on preschool... Bear is impressed with the fish tank, the playground, and the fact he got a new spiderman lunch box.  We are impressed he hasn't come home bruised, knowing a swear word, or shunned us all for the cool kids.

Meanwhile, on the farm... Fences!  My husband must love me or something, because he continues to put up fences for me and the chickens, pigs, sheep, goats, don't forget the turkeys, exotic chickens, bunnies, etc...  Cam is not only continually calling me the reincarnation of Noah.... but also (lovingly of course) refers to me often as the fencing Nazi due to the precision with which I like my wires to be strung, and posts to be pounded.  Goats, this time my friends, we shall add to our collection and Cam has crafted a wonderful field fence goat pen strategically located around the chicken pen to take advantage of pricey fencing.  And let me say, it's a good looking fence... tight and straight as an arrow.  Both Cam's dad and my cousin got roped in to this project, and I tell you, they did mighty fine work.  Just a warning... if you ever think about visiting please come with a typed list of skills so we can best fit you to the proper chore we have going on... Plumbers and electricians are always appreciated.  But, I digress... So the boys got the post work done today, and after my cousin headed out Cam, myself, and the new tractor got the fencing hung.   All that's left is a gate, fasteners, and a shed!  I'm already having visions of goat cheese and handmade soap.

It's game time around here folks... the weather is changing, Bear's in school, I'm heading back to school this coming Monday (insert dread now), house plans have been submitted to the building department, and I seriously need to figure out what kind of goats I want!  Stay tuned.       
 



 Kendyl agrees with Ben Franklin "Well Done is Far Better Than Well Said."