Reaching Goals

I'm not sure how this blog thing comes off at times.  I tell Cam all the time how hard it is to write about yourself, but I try to think of it as more of a family record; a tale of our journeys and a record to
 someday look back upon.  When there are pauses, it's usually because I am either busy with school and looking at my computer for one more second is second only to imprisonment... or I'm thinking on things a bit myself.

As always, things around here seem to be eventful....to say the least.  There has been plenty of forward momentum.  On my own personal front, I passed by state board LPN test.  While only a stepping stone to my goal, it was a hard won accomplishment, and while the day passed somewhat uneventful, it was large in my own personal scope.  I began my schooling for nursing in 2009 after meeting Cam and deciding that I needed a career of my own.  I have taken classes through two pregnancies (morning sickness through chemistry is not fun), the building of our first house, and the raising and moving of our family.  I will be the first to say that I don't always handle the stress well, but I also know that I strive for a level of results that I know I can produce, even amongst many other responsibilities for which I feel the same.  My studies occur from the hours of kids bedtime to whenever I can keep my eyes open, and sometimes seem quite irrelevant to the life we are living and creating.  Nevertheless, being an OFFICIAL NURSE has it's glory in my heart---- I have something to show for all this work, I have a good career waiting for me and my family, and I stuck it out despite wanting to quit so many times I can't count.  I feel like not only myself should be given these credentials, but Cam should have a new title too.... like Spouse  of Nursing Student Survivor (there should really be a support group).  I often think that I might have thrown in the towel, had I not had three people that I'm willing to work so hard for.  Anyway... that's my own little horn tooting; and I still have MANY tests to go.

On my husband's side of this operation---- He
not only got the revisions on our house plans done, submitted, and approved by the county, but he poured our foundation!!!!  Building a house is a bit of an undertaking, and I know I just take for granted the fact that my husband can do most anything, but it is sort of a big deal.  Around here you are constantly racing the seasons, there are brief windows of prime times to do most anything outside, and we are on the brink of winter, with snow already in the mountains and the snow levels dropping everyday.  Not only that, but we also have to work around my school schedule and two kiddos that still need plenty of attention.  Nevertheless, Cam is moving right along, and has a few tricks up his sleeve to possibly extend our building season should the weather not get too cold.  Watching your home raise up is a very cool feeling.  Even standing up there by the foundation is exciting; looking out over our view we just feel like we are in heaven.  I love windows and being able to see around me, that is one area I struggle with living in the shop... but up there on the hill, being able to watch the world around me, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  That front porch will be a popular place in a year or so.  Next on his project list is pouring the stem walls, and then on to lumber.  I'm pretty lucky to have a man with skills!

Besides adding to our structures, we have also added to our animals.  I got a horse!  A paint mare I found from a gal in Omak.  I'd been looking on Craigslist, the rest of the internet, and the local ads, pretty hard for a while now, and found a fairly good deal close by.  After our Anniversary passed by with the flames of the fire, Cam told me one night that I should just find a horse to celebrate our 5th year.  I acted quick before he could change his mind!  Kit is what we have shortened her name to, and the kids and I are head over heals in cowboy love.  I've done a bit of riding around here, but she's been pretty spooked after moving to a new place and being away from other horses... I also think she spent most of her time in an arena, so the real world is a whole new adventure.  My neighbor though has been down to help out a bit and offered the chance for me to ride along with her and some other folks to move cows.  REALLY!  I told Cam I thought it would take me a couple years to break into the cattle drive circuit around here, so I just about did a happy dance after she asked.  Her and I rode out our driveway (a mile and a quarter) to trailer out a few miles up the road.  We moved some stray cows out of the field and up the road to meet up with the rest of the herd.  Mind you, this is some of the finest and most beautiful cattle country around... I honestly thought I might have died and gone to heaven.  There, we separated the cows that have yet to be "worked" (given their immunizations and the like) and brought them through the shoot.  I had no problem getting right in there, and enjoyed meeting the old rancher and his crew.  They had some good horses, and were very nice folks.  After a couple hours of working cows, we pushed them back down the road with our horses, and Diane and I set off on a trail ride all the way home.  We traveled over this ranchers land, and it allowed for a straight shot to our place, and a view of some prime country.  Saw a huge buck, and a couple old homesteads.  Kit did better than I expected around all the craziness of the cows, but I fear she's a bit of a sassy ol city horse, so we will see.  As my neighbor says... "life's too short to ride a bad horse," and should I need to hire out, I think I'll need a mountain horse.  If I ever had a bucket

The Littlest Cowgirl

list... I would say I could cross driving cows off my list and put it right back on to be sure I did it again. There was something amazing about the day, like sitting in my great-grandma's saddle, life had just come full circle right back to where it was supposed to be.


The excitement of the weekend did not stop there.  Cam had been itching to get back up to the woods, so we took off after the kids woke up this morning.  We headed up the wilderness valley where we live, and to an area we have traveled around before.  Cam has an elk tag, so that was still on our radar, and I had my shotgun for grouse should we see some.  We hiked up several different areas, coming back to the truck for snacks and cocoa as needed.  I can't say we've ever had a bad time in the mountains, and this was no exception.  Nevertheless, little legs can't go quite as far as Cam and my eyes travel, so we have to remind ourselves of that quite often.  We saw good sign most everywhere we went, heard one very suspicious noise, which we still haven't quite identified, and explored a few new roads.  Driving down one, I even got a crack at a grouse.  Cam still reminds me that the first grouse I shot I blew to pieces, so I try to be a bit more careful of my aim, and this was a good shot.  I always tell Cam hunting like this is a bit like a drive by shooting, but it put grouse nuggets in the kids' bellies tonight, so I'd say that it was successful.

When I look at this weekend, I know we are on the right track.  There are weekends and days that are not quite as glorious as this one was, but the struggle is what is making these fun times happen, and making them so sweet!  Me and the kids recently got a chance to go home for Halloween, and we had just a blast seeing everyone.  The kids played so well with their cousins, and had some very sweet moments.  I see all us cousins making our own way in the world, and it's very cool.  I'm so proud of them all and the way they are creating their own stories, and building their own families.  I miss being a part of them all at times, but I know they feel the same about us as well, and understand our desire to be here; and I like standing out here on our own accord.  Today we also found out that Cam's Grandpa Art passed away peacefully in his sleep last night.  It's hard to not be home in times when family usually comes together.  He was a good guy and we are happy that he did not suffer, and will hope that Honey is ok in his absence.  We often forget how precious life is, it's best to make the most of it.    

The Taming of The HighLands

Its the Cowgirl Way

In one of my favorite movies of all time, the cowboy classic The Man From Snowy River, (which I could probably recite from beginning to end, and can play most of the songs on the piano), Young Jim, who recently lost his father is distressed when the local good boys ol boys on horse back club shows up at his family ponderosa and declares that Jim must head down to the low country to work.  They state, in a perfectly dramatic Australian baroque  that living in the highlands is an honor, and "you've got to earn your right to live up here."

Maybe I'm just an old soul, but man, you should really watch the movie!

I guess I'm also a bit of a romantic.  If I could cross the prairie on horse back with my family in tow,
my husband fighting of wild animals while I was tending kids and cooking dinner from gathered roots... I totally would.  Sometimes I look around this property we have, and I think I'm not that far off from a modern version of my romantic wonderlust.  It's been work, seemingly endless work, but there is something to say about looking out over un-populated land, that is very satisfying to the soul.  These parts are a bit like the Australian highlands... "one minute paradise, the next it's trying to kill you," but I'd say over this last year, we've proved our hardiness, and earned these views.

And now, we are beginning to tame them.  More fencing is going up; not as we speak for the farmhands are off in dreamland, but we made some good progress on a large pasture today.  I can't even explain the satisfaction fencing brings.  Not only for adding to our ponderosa, but for all the possibilities of four legged creatures.... SIGH!!!  Very exciting!  We are making this land ours, fence post by fence post.  Beginning to know the contours and rocks of our land in a personal way!

Unfortunately farming is not our primary life's work.  I've been back to school, and man it has gotten right to the point.  I've been busy with 12 hour shifts, and lots of homework.  I've really been enjoying my opportunities in the hospital this quarter, and am really starting to feel like a real nurse!  It feels good to make progress, and I have the countdown to graduation in June in sight.  Cam's been working on a job in town on his off moments, along with getting our revisions for the house plans to the building department, so we can get started on that.  Luckily we are having a gorgeous Indian Summer/Fall, and despite the dusty
landscape, Cam's got us prepared and ready for winter when it does come.  He's had hunting on the brain, and has gotten the chance to escape to the mountains several times, bringing back a nice coyote on one of his trips.  The kids were fairly interested with the fur, and Kendyl was quite intrigued by the coyote ear she found in the driveway....  Better than cartoons I reckon!  Bear recently went on his first school field trip---a bus trip up to Conconully for a "nature walk."  I don't think he was amazed with the nature walk considering that's a daily task around here, but man riding the bus was something!  He was very excited to ride in a real, genuine, YELLOW, school bus.  It's funny how these little minds
work, but definitely satisfying to see them enjoy life.
    
Having a nice reprieve this weekend, with Cal and Dottie and family friend's John and Pat visiting.  As I've mentioned before though, our visitors only get 15 minute breaks morning and afternoon, so they've been roped into fencing as well.  The last time they were here, the shop was but posts in the ground, and the trailer was where we dwelled.  One of these years we will just sit around and enjoy the view, but for now I fear we aren't the best entertainers.  Nevertheless, we have enjoyed their company, and appreciate all the help. 

Moments of fall have been in the air, but up until today, we've been existing in eternal summer.  We've had a couple trips up to the mountains to do a bit of scouting, and have been taking advantage of the nice days.  Today though, brought clouds, a bit of rain, and the fog.  It was much needed as our landscape is still parched from fire season.  It's a much different feeling going into the winter season this year.  Definitely much more manageable and not quite as overwhelming.  We know we will be warm, dry, and hopefully not have to thaw our pipes every afternoon.  We will have a little space for the kids to roam, and the wisdom of knowing that at the end of a long winter, comes a new variety of challenges.  This year though we will also have momentum... knowing that my schooling is coming to a close, there will be a house on our hill, and I believe we've gained a bit of confidence in the strength of our family.   

The Future

Last Wednesday was quite a milestone.  Barrett's first day of preschool (which really should be phrased Barrett and Family's 1st day of preschool)!  I shall preface this article by stating that we all survived with minimal tears shed, no dramatic scenes, and have since attended day 2 of preschool, with day three coming up tomorrow.  Who would have known what a decision preschool would be... Should he go?  Is it really necessary?  Where should he go?  What sort of bad habits could preschoolers possibly inflict upon our pure 4 year old (not to mention the cesspool of germs)? Is it
normal to leave small children with complete strangers and not insist on some sort of web-cam or GPS so you can monitor the goings on during the two eternal hours he's there to ensure no foul play?  And when foul play occurs, is it normal to envision the scientific torture you will inflict upon the abusers?  Preschool people... it's apparently a big deal.

  

The Schooling of the Home

While we are still thinking of homeschooling if possible, we decided, after the aforementioned contemplation, to enroll Bear in preschool for several reasons.  My biggest kicker was that it's only two days a week for two and a half hours a shot... NOT THAT BAD; let's face it, I already have a hard time leaving the kids for my own schooling, we certainly don't need to extend the torture.  Number 2 I had a solid recommendation of place and teacher from a classmate of mine; solid gold when you are a newby in town!  Furthermore, we do believe that some time out of the wilderness will be beneficial; a HUGE emphasis on SOME, minimal, eensy weensy time.  While I do not subscribe to the one standard fits all for ALL children, and I am a huge proponent of the authority of GOOD parents over their children (as in I'm the expert of my child--not the doctor or the government), there are areas that we have been working on with Barrett to progress in, the primary of these being his speech.   We would obviously like to equip our children with the tools they need to operate in the world around them.  And, while the Mama Bear in me is alive and well and able to deal with adversity, I'd like the kids to gain confidence without Mom.  Speech is something that allows not only communication, but also friendship, expression, imagination, fun, and closeness; all skills I would like my children to feel "successful" at, while at this age where they are growing, exploring life, and building confidence.  While he converses quite readily at home, we have been well trained to understand the nuances of his language, and hopefully a bit more social interaction (with outsiders) will broaden his audience.  And finally... a bit of alone time is another reason I really considered preschool for Bear.  With me so busy with school, it is rare that the kids have time apart, and let's face it, we all need a bit of alone time every once in a while.  I absolutely love the relationship the kids have MOST of the time; but it is important to have a bit of distance to determine one's own identity... without arguing about who's looking out who's window or entrapping the wee one with spidey webs.

Many would say social skills are the biggest reason for preschool, but I think Cam and I would both agree that modern social skills are a thing to be feared rather than appreciated.  As I watched Bear navigate the first day drop off, I was pleased with his caution and manners.  While most showed no regard to the hierarchy of the sink for hand washing, he was fine waiting his turn.  Now, let's talk about the climax of starting preschool... THE FIRST DROPOFF.  Cam and I have both been talking up preschool pretty well for the last oh... month or so.  Our kids have been home with me, and now Cam for most of their life, and if not with us, Grandparents have been the go to.  Cousins next.  They have stayed with less than a half a handful of people that are not family.  We are constantly around people, but they are supervised primarily by us.  I won't get into the goods of that, but the downside is they are probably less ok with change than a child who gets a bit more variety.  So dropoff was crucial.  I took Bear to check out his school a few weeks ago, and while he enjoyed the 1 on 1 time and the playground, he promptly told me that if I left him at that place he would most definitely "run away."  Yikes, not words to elicit confidence from Mom.  Needless to say, he did really well at dropoff, despite telling us later about a few "secret tears" he had after I left because he was nervous.  I wanted to tell him I had a few secret tears while waiting in the parking lot expecting him to jump the fence, but we just went to Dairy Queen instead.  Day One=Success

Since he has begun, Cam and I have had some funny conversations.  Does Bear have the street smarts to survive the gauntlet?  Cam won't stand for him to be picked on... will he know what to do if he is?! How is a parent supposed to deal?!  While Cam and I are firmly grounded in the strength of our family, there are always questions, parent guilt, worries, and sleepless nights.  There is always the next challenge ready to take on whatever progress you think you have made.  As Cam always says "unfortunately individual kids DON'T come with owners manuals that tell you exactly how to get the best food to energy ratio, or detail troubleshooting steps."  It's more of a fly by the seat of your pants sort of operation, even though I'm so convinced that you are right... you're child is perfect; I don't believe or expect our children or parenting to be.  We're in this journey together!  Bottom line is, jury is still out on preschool... Bear is impressed with the fish tank, the playground, and the fact he got a new spiderman lunch box.  We are impressed he hasn't come home bruised, knowing a swear word, or shunned us all for the cool kids.

Meanwhile, on the farm... Fences!  My husband must love me or something, because he continues to put up fences for me and the chickens, pigs, sheep, goats, don't forget the turkeys, exotic chickens, bunnies, etc...  Cam is not only continually calling me the reincarnation of Noah.... but also (lovingly of course) refers to me often as the fencing Nazi due to the precision with which I like my wires to be strung, and posts to be pounded.  Goats, this time my friends, we shall add to our collection and Cam has crafted a wonderful field fence goat pen strategically located around the chicken pen to take advantage of pricey fencing.  And let me say, it's a good looking fence... tight and straight as an arrow.  Both Cam's dad and my cousin got roped in to this project, and I tell you, they did mighty fine work.  Just a warning... if you ever think about visiting please come with a typed list of skills so we can best fit you to the proper chore we have going on... Plumbers and electricians are always appreciated.  But, I digress... So the boys got the post work done today, and after my cousin headed out Cam, myself, and the new tractor got the fencing hung.   All that's left is a gate, fasteners, and a shed!  I'm already having visions of goat cheese and handmade soap.

It's game time around here folks... the weather is changing, Bear's in school, I'm heading back to school this coming Monday (insert dread now), house plans have been submitted to the building department, and I seriously need to figure out what kind of goats I want!  Stay tuned.       
 



 Kendyl agrees with Ben Franklin "Well Done is Far Better Than Well Said."

It Feels Like Home....

Young Souls Run Wild and Free

Being home has set my soul at peace and ignited my inner homesteader.  The smoke and intensity of the fire situation has finally subsided, and although there still are fires in the county, we've finally been able to re organize our stuff and have a bit of down time.  We were able to take the quads up to our state land, and were absolutely shocked at the devastation we found; the extensive reach of the
fires and the destruction of some beautiful land.  It's difficult to view the area that held our neighbor's home; it looks like a war time photograph, although this time it's attached to faces and hearts you have come to know.  They have thankfully been settling into a rental house not far from us, and we have still been able to enjoy each-others camaraderie and friendship.  

I have taken to the kitchen to put some fruit up for the winter.  So far I have canned peaches and pears, and have apples to put in the dehydrator (hopefully today).  Still on my list is my Grandma's frozen corn, maybe trying my hand at pickles, and whatever else I can squeeze in over my break.  There are many things that are satisfying about putting up your own food-- good preservative free nutrition, connecting with ancestors through recipes, and the feeling of accomplishment for a day well spent.  It's not exactly easy, and in fact the whole process is quite time consuming when you have young rascals underfoot; nevertheless when you sit down at night with scorched fingers and tired feet, hearing those cans pop and seeing the beauty all lined up in a neat row is simple satisfaction for the present moment and for the coming winter, when homegrown goodness tastes best in my opinion.  With my own mother in Italy, I've been a bit more creative in my recipes, as I didn't have her to call.  My peaches I canned in a light syrup I made with honey, one of my most favorite ingredients for most everything.  Pears I did how I could remember, but I'll double check when she gets home.   

While I have been homemaking and tending to a little woman with the sniffles, the boys took to the woods to scout our transformed countryside to see what game is left as hunting season begins.   We have once again been reminded of the power of the world around us to alter our plans, or shape the success of chores we take on.  My neighbor inquired the other day as to whether the fires had changed our opinion or plans of building and I definitively said NO straight away.  I talked with Cam a bit about this later in the day and we both whole heartedly agreed that living with the world is better than not knowing it exists.  It's better to risk a loss and be part of the hills rather than not know all that is around you: the feeling on your skin of a changing season, the patterns of migration of the animals around us, the need to prepare for most all the seasons, and most importantly that nature really doesn't care about anything we have on the agenda, and it's best to respect that straight off.

To add to our homestead toolbox, we made a quick trip to Montana to pick up a tractor Cam had found on Craigslist.  We put on some serious mileage, and unfortunately there was wildfire smoke even in Kalispell, so it didn't highlight the scenery quite like we had hoped.  Cam and I both have a love for Montana; him growing up wanting to be a backwoods anything, and me growing up with family stories passed down of my own roots.  We treasure anytime we spend there really, no matter the brevity of our stay.  Back on the ranch, we've already put her to work, and Cam has given the thumbs up for a successful purchase.  

Next on the docket was a Southerly trip to Arizona for Cam's cousin's wedding.  It was the kid's first time flying, of course, so that was quite exciting.  Bear settled right into the window seat and was amazed at take-off and the flight attendants!  He couldn't believe his luck that he got Sprite on the airplane (or in general).  We all started the trip off with minor colds, but really enjoyed our time at the gorgeous wedding, and of course with family.  We were grateful to make it there and show our support!  The kids really latched on to their cousin Bryce, and it was fun to see them play together... and DANCE!!  Those kids lit up the wedding dance floor.

Another highlight from the trip was an exploration of the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a trip Great Grandpa Rudy would have been very glad we took.  The kids loved seeing the desert animals and of course tagging along with Bryce through caves and other exhibits.   It got fairly toasty out in the desert though, and we were soon running for shade as well, where we said good-byes to Bryce and his family before we all left the next day.  I was grateful for the time spent with family; I feel very lucky to be part of them.  

Coming back home I've gotten the sense that our work load is about to escalate and our way of life is morphing. Besides my schooling of course, we have been lucky over the last year of being here to take some trips, explore the area, and "dink" off a bit.  I get the feeling though, that we are in for a grind for the next year or so.  Today, we broke ground for our house.  It's a big feeling.  Very exciting of course, and a bit scary... all the work ahead, and a lot of unknowns.  I feel like we have some momentum though; I'm going into my last year of nursing school and will hopefully finish with a very satisfying career; we've done this before and have gained some knowledge, we're a bit (just a bit) older and hopefully better equipped to deal with the tornado of stress we seem to fill our life with, and honestly we are building our dream life, and despite what some think, it takes a lot of elbow grease, and isn't always cookie cutter perfection-- and we are ok with that.  Nevertheless, I am feeling ready for the challenges ahead; I'm so ready to be done with school and have the satisfaction of finishing the program, we are so ready to be sitting on that front porch, sipping coffee and watching the kids thrive, and I know these thoughts, and a lot of hard work, will get us to our goal, even if it is a bit messy along the way.           

  

  

From The Ashes

Police Scanning After Class w/Fires
In the Background

I write this post with many emotions.  As I look through these pictures it seems surreal; it's been one heck of a week.  Although I am happy we survived with shop and "stuff" in tact, there has been a lot of loss and several hectic sleepless nights.  What better place to start than the beginning though... and so I shall try to recount our tale. 



Last Friday I had an 8 o'clock exam in Omak.  I left the house early to get in some extra study time, and was greeted with the distant roll of thunder and black skies looming to the West.  Naturally I headed toward them to take the long way to school and to deduce if any of the black contained some much needed rain.  It was like driving through a tunnel; by the time I arrived at school, one of the largest lighting storms I have ever witnessed was happening right over me.  Cam reported much of the same electrical action at home, and thunder so loud and near it was rattling the windows.  We did get a bit of rain, but it was brief, and talk of fires quickly commenced.  The weekend was ushered in and I then completed one of the toughest quarters yet of nursing school last Tuesday.  The culmination of this quarter felt so good; I really worked my buns off this quarter.  I will be sitting for my exam to get my LPN soon, and only three quarters more until RN.  I can't believe I survived this year honestly.

On the way home from school I had my first introduction to the Okanogan complex fires.  A large fire had started above Riverside, and black smoke began to fill the valley and my commute.  I felt a bit of a rush for the first time, as I quickly ended my errands to make it home before any roads were closed.  Once home, I met the scene on the right.  Fires to the South-West of us, near Fish Lake from what we could tell, and seemingly advancing in our direction.  Cam got out his race scanner and we were able to pick up the local police and fire department channel.  With fires so close, I went into action mode; I wanted to get bug out bags packed and essentials in the trailer at the minimum.  Cam wisely knew we probably had more time and he humored my requests but also wanted to maintain a positive status quo on the ranch.  We had plans formed for months that my folks would take the kids for a couple days, as Friday was our 5th anniversary... little did we know it would be one of the hottest anniversaries YET!  

That night was the first of a few restless sleeps and we rose early to check the progression of the fire.  It had definitely moved, but had not as of yet crossed South Pine Creek Road, which was our mental barrier that divided timberland near us from the fire.  We left to run some errands in town, and within a two hour period, we returned to find our property socked in with smoke.  Cam and I made a quick decision to get the kids out of the area due to the poor air quality and the movement of the fire.  So... I loaded up and me and the kids set out.  Our journey home was an adventure in itself: we were turned

Twisp Skies

around in the depths of Highway 20 after a fire started in Newhalem.  Luckily, a gentleman stopped me (in the middle of the road) and told us to hightail it the other way.  The kids were sleeping, but I was very uneasy as we were in a canyon, with smoke billowing up from the pass.  As we made our way back into the Methow Valley... more smoke, now in the direction of Twisp.  I called a girlfriend who lives there and she said both Winthrop and Twisp were being evacuated, which left me in the middle of an exodus, heading South to Wenatchee.  I contemplated the choice I made to continue on the road, but with fire in most every direction, I just wanted to get my kids out of the area.  Because of our turnaround, it took around 8 or 9 hours for us to finally reach Skagit County.

5 Years Together

In Monroe, I received THE message.  Fire had not only crossed South Pine Creek Road, but it had advanced to the closest ridge to the West of us.  Cam was set in motion hauling our trailer, quads, Jeep, and snowmobiles to a friend's house down the way.  Although exhausted from driving so far already, I knew I would be heading back shortly to help my husband.  Kid delivery went well, despite the fact I hate leaving them on a normal day.  After debating what to do, my cousin Riley called and agreed to drive with me back to Omak.  So we set out around 11pm and made it back to Omak around 4:30am, where we slept in the Wal-Mart parking lot due to closed roads north of Omak.  After a couple hours of sleep, we were able to detour to our property.  It felt good to be back with Cam, adversity is best faced together, and I always feel better with him.  We went to lunch in town, and headed home to gather with our neighbors and their family.  Our times together are always fun and spirited, but the atmosphere changed when we walked outside and saw how quickly the fire had progressed down the ridge.  With only one gravel road between us and the fire, things were getting rather serious.  We made quick plans to get out of the area, and as planned Cam would stay with the men to defend our home.  I ended up leaving with our neighbors to help with their children; it was a tough decision to not stay with Cam, but I felt like it was the best decision at the time, and honestly I was worried about getting stuck down our road with no escape, and no contact with the kids.

Riley in our Driveway

Friday, I returned to fire on the ridge in front of us, having crossed Hagood road during the night and now making it's way toward us.  Fire was also starting to creep up our neighbors hillside, which is completely full of timber.  The guy's were tired from waking every hour to check the location of the fire, and the fact that it was our Anniversary was really a side note.  We watched the fire advance and I left to report back to basecamp and be a support for our neighbor.  At this point, I felt fairly confident with how the fire was moving, but I didn't necessarily want to sit around and watch things burn.  I did several re-con missions to check on the advancement of the fire, and knew it had to be close to both of our places, and Cam finally got a message out saying that the fire was at our driveway, but that there was a fire crew there.  The guys worked with the fireman to stop the fire on our line, but could only watch as the fire swept down and around our meadow.  Cam later described the vortex that occurred as the fire swept through our meadow in minutes, climbing up the hillside to our neighbors just as quickly.  The loss of their home was devastating; while but a cabin in the woods, it was a HOME, in all senses of the word... warm, welcoming, and full of a depth that only comes with the warmth of a family with similar attributes.  

The aftermath is tricky.  I am deeply grateful to be sitting here, kids sleeping, Cam in his recliner... but our hearts hurt for our neighbors loss.  While our neighbors have found a rental closeby, it's hard to grieve and go on with life at the same time.  We have seen the generosity of a small town at work though, and time will hopefully heal.  Our property looks much like a war scene.  What once was a lush meadow filled with berries and underbrush, now is ash and a lot of burnt trees.  It's hard to describe exactly all that has happened.  Our story, of course, has ended much happier than others, but we walk side by side. Bringing home the kids was scary, and oh so sweet.  I hoped their young hearts would be sensitive to the matters at hand, and it just felt right to be back again together as a family.  5 years with my husband continues to be the greatest adventure and seems to carry neverending excitement.  From ashes come fertile land and new opportunities; lumber for a home and new perspectives.  It's the conquering of one more challenge and hope for the passing of a season.     

Fire Updates

While I don't have the time to write an extensive message tonight (last final of the quarter tomorrow), I wanted to write a note on our current situation.  As of now we are safe and sound despite the number of fires in Eastern Washington at this time.  The fire closest to us, is near Fish and Blue Lake.  It is a ways off yet and has not crossed the road onto our North Pine side.  It's a bit eery as we can see a good amount of smoke, and watched some active fires in the distance tonight (farther toward Conconully).  The planes were flying most of the day fighting the fires.  I talked with one of the guys leading the team on the "Okanogan Complex" fire, and he was able to tell me exactly where the fire was, and was reassuring in the fact that it was a fair distance away.  The problem is though, that resources are slim as they are stretched between so many fires.

Still Smiling on the Homefront... Don't Worry About us Gram!

Cam and I were able to be productive on the fire front today though.  Cam wired a generator into our shop that is big enough to run our well pump... which is a great asset if the power should go out.  I did some weed eating around the perimeter of our place to make a little buffer zone and got a sprinkler set up on the back side of our shop.  I also packed us up some clothes and essentials (pictures, baby books, etc.), should we have to be evacuated.  Cam does make me feel a bit better because he is not all that concerned as of yet, but I feel like we are at least ready to go should we need to.  We have several friends that have graciously extended their homes and help if need be, so I will rest easy tonight......after I get caught up on studying.  Stay tuned for updates, and the adventures of Team Brown on summer vacation!!!!!!!

Smoke Signals

I used to sit back and watch the news and think how grateful I was to live in a relatively safe geographic region.  No hurricanes, no shark attacks, no tornadoes threatening my henhouse or precipitating the building of a new farm every year.  Possibly the threat of sliding into the ocean at some point in time, but that really never ruffled my feathers too much!  The seasons came and went without warranting planning ahead or any major changes in behavior.  We have found life with four seasons catches your attention a bit more.

First it was preparing for winter, which if you've been reading since the beginning, was interesting.  Daily we worked to get running water, a concept about as foreign as sending a letter is today.  We worked for our heat supply, we de-iced, we bought new snow boots out of necessity,  and we hunkered in.  Then it was the "break up," dealing with the mud, flooding the well (and once again working to get water), enjoying the greenery etc. Now it's the heat of summer, and we have a whole new slew of obstacles.  WATER is key for any home operation, whether you think about it or not.  Try going without running water for a day... even an hour.  Droughts are in full swing all over the state, and our area is no exception.  Luckily our well is holding up great, and we have a pool full of liquid gold if necessary.

BEES... apparently bees like water too, and when you put a pool in the middle of the high desert, it's like an oasis in the Sahara with a pool boy and swim up bar.  We are infested by yellow jackets!  I am talking swarms.  We have not even been able to use the pool for a week or so, due to hostile air attacks, and I am currently battling an irritating welt on my leg.  Cam has researched everything on the internet for bee removal, but I think the neon oasis sign is overriding any small deterrents we throw their way.  That being said, we are down one wasps nest...... Thanks to my lovely 20 gauge and a drive by sneak attack that blew that baby to smithereens!  That was a rush!  Unfortunately, I think the bees relocated closer to the oasis and swim up bar.

FIRE.... We all knew that this year was going to be dry, and it's been so dry and hot that fires seemed almost inevitable, it was just a matter of how big and where. Currently there are 4,000 acres burning down by Lucerne on Lake Chelan, temporarily shutting down my cousins job there.  Depending on the wind, the smoke from that fire can get pretty thick, even in our neck of the woods.  Yesterday, we left to take the kids to the lake and skies were clear, and on the way home it looked like a war scene.  It makes the sky such a strange color, and I hate having that thick smoke hang in the air.  We have not had any fires too close to our place, and are praying they can get control of those that are burning and that they stay in the remote areas away from homes.

Nature is a bit on the angry side right now it seems, but there's something to be said about noticing the world around you.  Realizing that there are forces outside your control, that if set in place, could significantly alter your routine.  Makes you respect what's happening a bit more, and opens your eyes beyond the monotonous.

5 Point Buck On Our Journey

I've had a nice long weekend thanks to my clinical schedule and 12 hour shifts.  It's been nice to be home with the family and we have gotten the chance to explore a bit more.  We took the back roads from our place to Conconully, through the mountains to Winthrop scouting a bit of hunting ground,
and checking out a new area.  It was quite a bumpy trek, but we saw some awesome high mountain country and even hit 7,000ft at one spot.

Sunday morning was interesting as well.  I had gotten up early to get some homework done before everyone woke up; the kids love to request coffee cake for breakfast when Mom's home, so I found a new recipe online.  I was just measuring out flour and bam... the power goes out, and suddenly we are back in survival mode.  So we threw the coffee cake in the BBQ, got a bucket of water from the pool and continued on.  The outage didn't last for long but it definitely makes you stop and think about what supplies or tools you are lacking.  After we filled our bellies, we were off fishing.  It was already around 90 degrees though, and the fishing was slow.... as in just fishing, no catching, so after an hour or so we called it a day and headed back to the barn.

Today we have been shooting our bows, and Cam's been getting some work done around here... weedeating, spraying some weeds in our meadow, and cleaning the joint up a bit.  If the house doesn't get started soon we have plans to start some fencing and a little goat pen.  You never know the power could go out and a growing family needs milk and butter!  This afternoon we have another hike on the horizon, and I'm hoping to get into some berries one of these days.  It will be back to work for me tomorrow, so I'm enjoying life on the ponderosa for now... finals week is looming and I will have a lot to do in a little time.  Hard to concentrate with goats, pigs, horses, and bee boxes on your mind!   

Cream Cheese Coffee Cake with Cinnamon Streusel

From Sugary Sweets online

For the Cake:
• 2 1/2 cup all purpose flour
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 3 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2/3 cup buttermilk 
For the Filling:
• 2 pkg (8oz each) cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg 
For the Streusel:
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 3 cup all purpose flour

Instructions

1. For the cake, grease and flour a 13x9 baking dish and set aside. In a mixing bowl, beat flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt on low until combined. Beat in softened butter until mixture is crumbly. Add in eggs, vanilla and buttermilk and beat until fully combined and fluffy! Pour half the batter into baking dish, spreading evenly.
2. In a separate mixing bowl, beat cream cheese with sugar and egg until light and fluffy, about 3-5 minutes. Pour over batter. Top with remaining half of cake batter.
3. For the topping, mix sugars with cinnamon and salt. Add in butter and combine fully. Add flour and mix with hands until fully combined. Pour crumb topping over batter, sprinkling with hands until evenly distributed.
4. Bake cake in a 325 degree oven for about 45 minutes, until fully cooked. Cool completely and serve.

           

I Think I Should Have been a Cowgirl...............

Growing Together

Bear Ready for Early Morning Berry Picking

Hello, and welcome back!  I certainly apologize for the delay in writing.  My editor is furious and I have been fired numerous times only to be hired again after many pleas for compassion.  I'd hate for you to lose interest, so will try to be better moving forward here.   

 Last time we talked we were right in the middle of... the pool, due to quite a heatwave.  I'm happy to say there have been no fires in our area.  We have been stocking up on emergency supplies just in case, but are hoping of course not to use them.  We've put in some hiking time, looking for fruit trees, berries, and higher hunting ground.  Bear put in 4 miles or so with us last weekend, while Kendyl is happy to catch a ride in my backpack.  We've scouted out a forgotten apple orchard, a discovery that I know Cam's grandpa would be elated about.  It's liberating to be resourceful, to find areas of "organics" most people drool over, and to be teaching a practical/useful way of life to our kids.  Cam and I have also been putting in some time shooting our bows for the upcoming archery season.  I'm improving under his guidance, which is a necessity for the task at hand.  I'm really enjoying learning a new skill and it's a great way to decompress when I get home.           

The Family That Hikes Together....Sleeps Good!

We recently spent an interesting week over in Medical Lake, where I had a clinical rotation at the state mental health hospital.  I was a bit nervous about the task at hand prior to going.  The hospital began in 1890 something and many of the buildings built shortly after that still remain.  The grounds are expansive, and the buildings definitely have the look of an institution, it's a bit intimidating to say the least.  While I cannot talk about my experience there, I left with many lessons learned and a full heart.  I felt grateful for the life I have, and the life of my children; and grateful that I'm beginning a career that directly affects those in need.  We all have judgements and reservations when we see people that look or act a certain way, but I tell you.... until you know where that person came from, it's best to keep your rocks in your own glass house.  There are some that have it pretty rough, and our "system" does them no favors.  I've always felt like I have a compassionate spirit, but I think I also harbored a lot of my own judgements, and I'm happy to leave some of those behind.

While over there, we did have an interesting stay in a campground!  Cam and I have stayed at 2 actual campgrounds.  We generally find more secluded mountain locations free from hustle, bustle, or hookups (that's the point after all...right?!)  Cam did such a great job handling the camping reservations for us, and even talked to a local sheriff about the safest campgrounds in the area.  It had a pool for the kids, 2 playgrounds, a mini golf course, and many other activities to keep the kids occupied until I got home around 2.  What it did not have was CAMPING.  It was quite similar to apartment life.... We were packed in tighter than piglets, and were surround by people from none other than.... Lynden!  Let's just say we realized how much we have acclimatized to mountain life.  I could barely study with the noise of others around, and just seeing other people in the area of our living space was plain ol weird!  We took some fun fieldtrips though... to a great outdoor/sporting goods store in Idaho, Cabela's in Post Falls, and a tiger preserve north of Spokane.  The tigers were definitely a hit with the kids... and myself.  Kendyl made me laugh pretty hard when after she discovered that one of the tiger's had a couple missing digits on it's paw, promptly looked at me and said "Where's that tigers toes??.... Let me down... I'll go find them!"  Needless to say, we were elated to come home to happy dogs, solace, and the completion of one more challenge. 
   
Our house project remains a bit elusive.  We have a plan in hand, but it still needs some tweaking.  I can feel our time running low, but we remain at a bit of a standstill.  We are trying to find a balance between simplicity and something that will last us, and of course within the budget.  Cam is starting to chomp at the bit to get underway, so hopefully we will narrow down the blueprint this week.  I'm getting pretty excited despite how full my plate already is, and spend much of the day walking around the building site envisioning coffee on the patio, cooking while looking out over falling snow, and of course building a cozy spot for the kids to grow.  

I just finished one of the most intense weeks of nursing school yet... 4 tests and a roller coaster of battle.  I survived though!  And let out a deep breath of accomplishment.  Working hard feels good when you can look back on all you have accomplished.  I'm very focused right now, and free from the distraction of tv or other time consumers, and it feels good to be working hard for my family.  That being said, I've given myself the last couple days off, and I have enjoyed every minute.  We had a fantastic bbq with the neighbors Saturday night.  We count our blessings being up in the mountains with them, and I look forward to growing our relationship over the years.  There is much to learn and share with eachother, and I am so grateful for the bonds we are forming.  We ate, conversed, and played the night away.  After they left, Cam and I went on an undercover bee removal mission, as we had spotted a huge hive down the hill near our wild plum tree, and we have been plagued lately around the shop.  We had the brilliant idea of dropping the hive right into a heavy duty garbage sack and quickly containing the lethal tornado that was sure to occur.  Luckily for us, in hindsight, our clippers were rather dull and we aborted the mission.  Every marriage should have adventure, even if the odds are overwhelmingly against you.  Walking back to the house with the moon lighting our way, and absolute peaceful silence, it my heart was full of neighborly goodness and gratefulness for being married to someone who holds the garbage bag!!!!!!

Spirit Drummers!

Today took us on another adventure.  We woke at a leisurely time, had some Cheerios, and set out.  First stop was the restaurant at Bonaparte Lake, a small lake known for fishing, about an hour from our house, and in a fairly remote location on Highway 20.  We had a nice brunch, and then headed farther North up to Lost Lake.  Lost Lake is fairly small, definitely remote, hosts several camps and is known for the presence of a group of endangered Loons, and some good fishing.  The scenery is well taken care of by the forest service and allows for more visibility under the trees.  We wandered around the area, and several times Cam said "I love our life."  Being able to constantly explore the wilderness and watch the kids enjoy the wild, is pretty priceless.  They made quite the band together banging on some stumps with sticks, and are becoming astute berry hunters.  While our time is slim as of late, extra time is no longer wasted, but generally full of adventuring together.

We returned home to a short shower of rain, that is so welcome over here; it would take weeks of rain to soak this dust bowl.  My cousin joined us from his job up at the Holden Mine on Lake Chelan, and we are enjoying a quiet night.  Life is good.  There is a lot of work on our horizon, but I get the feeling we are not only settling into a groove around here, but are going to thrive in many ways.      

Keep On Keeping On

Well, it is heating right up around here.  Down in town it's hit 100 for the last week or so, and up in our hills we are only a few degrees behind.  Today it hit 103 and Cam noted that is a full 100 degree change from some of the coldest days in winter.  While it has limited our "heat of the day" activity, we seem to be tolerating it, and last night was the first that Cam mentioned he had a hard time sleeping due to the warmth.  It has been cooling down some at night and the early morning is a beautiful time.  The kids seem to be enjoying the summer, although every once in a while Bear asks when it's going to snow! 

Heading back to school was rough after my break.  I enjoyed my days at home with the family and being back on the kid schedule.  This is a quick quarter though, and at the end I will have my LPN and only 3 quarters left until my RN.  I can't believe we've already been here the best part of a year, and have now seen ALL seasons.  Summer is yet another beast.  It's harder on animals, little people, and the land.  The threat of wildfires is already here, and it's just another reminder that we are actually part of the natural world around us; that as much as technology has advanced us, mother nature still has the final say.  Luckily we have a metal shop distanced from the timber, but still worry for those around us, and what such a dry year may bring. 

 The three of us took a little journey over to the Spokane area to scout camping sites for the week we will spend when I have to work over there in July.  It's fun being in a new region, and while I am a bit nervous about the job at hand, having my family there will make it all the better.  We stayed a night in Spokane, went out for Italian food, and explored the city a bit.  Home of my beloved Gonzaga Bulldogs, so I wasn't complaining.  Then it was back home for kids doctor's appointments and real world chores.  The kids and I took a quick trip back to the coast to make the rounds with the family before school started up again.  We enjoyed some quality time with my folks and grandparents.  Cal and Dottie spent several days with us last week.  We enjoyed their company, many good meals, and they were able to explore a bit on their quad; Cam and I even got out on a date night!  Cal helped Cam build an overhang above the door to our shop, and over the area where we stack wood in the wintertime.  This was really the one chore that needed to get completed before the cold weather sets in, so I'd say our winter list is looking good; we have plenty of wood, a weather proof shelter, and now a place to keep our wood supply dry and easily accessible.  We also had a great visit from my cousin and his family.  It is such an amazing thing to see those you love grow and flourish.  I loved sharing our new world with them, but I especially loved seeing the happiness they have as well, and our visit definitely left my heart full!  There are many ways to go about this life, but it's a personal choice to make it how you'd like, and it takes a strong person to make strong decisions for themselves and a family. 

After our company had gone, it was back to the grind for me.  The big event at home has been the filling of our pool!  We were a bit nervous about testing our well, so spread it out by 4 days, and have been enjoying the cool water ever since (and the water supply seems to be holding nicely).  A nice dip definitely helps to ease the heat of some of these days, and I often feel like I sizzle upon entering the water.  I have a feeling Cam was right, that it might just be a necessity this summer. 

The other BIG BIG news around the ranch involves our game cameras.  After a couple weeks off from checking them, we rode up after dinner last night to discover a ton of new pictures that included a LARGE COUGAR.  Cam and I have seen one cougar together in the wild, the only one either of us has ever laid eyes on.  We were bear hunting up behind the North Fork Brewery up the Mount Baker Highway, cruising along the backroads, when I spotted a cat on the side of the road.  I let out the only words I could muster, and we slowed.  It was like a slow motion movie when that animal looked right at us for what seemed like forever.  LONG, skinny, and powerful, is what I remember, with a very long tail, and eyes that have anything BUT fear.  Cam of course wanted to shoot, but I asked him not too and remarkably he watched the animal athletically head into the trees.  I told him he would have good hunting karma for allowing what he considers one of the hardest kills to walk on.  THIS cougar, looks a little bigger than what we saw.  We caught the picture at about 10pm above the lake by our house.  Here's the thing... we know we are surrounded by them, we even talk about it when hiking sometimes, wondering how many we have probably passed.  With little ones, there is of course a greater concern, and if I could send out a memo to all the mountain lions in the area, I would tell them my hat is off, you have my respect, I'll gladly keep my distance and enjoy your legend as long as you stay away from my legacy.  Very cool to see really, but makes you think a little more when you are running in the morning.......

Apart from being in awe with our surroundings, we haven't been doing all that much.  I'm back to late nights and early mornings, and IT's HOT.  I feel like we should be planning for next year, as far as a garden, animals, and food storage, but with building a house on the horizon, it seems we are ok with a bit of "down time."  That's not to say it's all smooth sailing around here (it wouldn't be Team Brown without a little excitement), for today the washing machine broke, and the AC in both our travel trailer and my car went out.  The travel trailer was an easy fix, Cam will look at my car tomorrow, and order a part for the washer... Does anyone know where the gravy train is?? Because we certainly have yet to find it!  Needless to say, we high tailed it to the lake today to cool off and get out of the shop for a bit.  Cam made me crab stuffed salmon (courtesy of Jeremy and Elicia---such good fish!) for dinner, and now all is quiet on the Eastern front.  There is a lot of work heading our way that I'm guessing will be accompanied by copious amounts of sweat, to the soundtrack of thunderstorms and joyful children and nail guns.  In this moment though, I'm happy to be on this journey; I'm tired because I work hard to have a career that will be good for my family, my husband can fix anything that breaks, our kids are thriving, and we are keeping on together. 

On Hiatus.... and Back Again

Well, I certainly apologize for the delay in postage.  I have had threats of discontinued subscriptions and calls for change in management.... my editor, Mr. Brown, has been encouraging, (aka bugging) me nightly to sit down and write.  I must admit, I needed a brain break during and after my spring finals.  I was happy to finish the quarter on a good note, but it did take it's toll as I developed quite the cold, that I am happy to be free of now.  I'm amazed we have made it through nine months of nursing school, and I do say WE because it is an all consuming undertaking.  It feels good to check goals off, and to be moving forward, but also to have a little break to be home and enjoy all that is around me.

Evening Hike in the Heat

Lake Time

Wow... where to start to catch up on two weeks of the Browns!  As you can imagine I probably

haven't been all that blog worthy with my stuffy nose stuck in a book for the last few weeks.  If you found alterations in cell functions or pharmacology noteworthy... well I'd say you're probably reading the wrong blog, or we can chat later :)!  The weather has really been heating up around here, pushing 100 degrees on more than a handful of days.  We seem to have become lake dwellers, whether it is up the driveway or up near the border, we can often be found on the banks enjoying the sun after a cool dip and watching the kids play.  Cam was able to travel home to attend Derrick and Anna's son's graduation a few weekends back.  He enjoyed his time there, slept out under the stars with his buddy, and represented our family at the special occasion.  Derrick also generously lent us his aluminum boat, which has become quite the centerpiece of life around here.  12 feet of pure lake born freedom.  Cam added some seats and away we have been exploring several local lakes.  The kids seem to enjoy the water, and Bear is trying his hand at driving.  It reminds me a bit of a treasure map when he drives, zig-zagging all over the place,  but with a big smile on his face.  The first night we took it out, it was so gorgeous.. the kids were turtle hunting, it was a picturesque night, and we saw tons of wildlife, including a beaver right at the boat launch that slapped his tail and made the kids jump a foot!  We've also been back up to Blue Lake, the alkaline lake with the baby turtles, and boated the length of the glass like water and went swimming at the far end. 

 A big highlight for the kids lately has been watching their caterpillars transform into butterflies.  Aunt Connie got them a little kit, and we immediately sent off for the caterpillars which soon arrived in a small jar.  Over the next couple weeks we watched them climb around, hang from the top of the jar and form their chrysalises,  complete metamorphosis into a butterfly, and hatch.  We read the book that came with and learned about the process, and the kids tried their best to say both "metamorphosis" and "chrysalis."  This study was culminated with the release of 5 beautiful butterflies.  I love seeing curiosity peaked, and there is nothing that can do that quite like nature.  It's amazing how fast they learn, just being a part of the world around them.  My parents always thought I

Morning Butterfly Release

would be a teacher, because I would come home, construct a seating chart and lesson plan and carry out a school day with my stuffed animals.... I guess there is part of me that loves to "teach," but as a parent I'm amazed at how much of a spark already exists, and how time, attention, and adventuring together are powerful ways to nurture their growing lives.  Pretty cool stuff to be a part of.

After my tests were over, we were able to celebrate with our friends Jeremy and Elisha and their daughter Madison.  We so enjoyed their company and being able to show them around our new neck of the woods.  We went to quite a few lakes (like I said... lake people!), did a lot of relaxing, a little fishing, and ate way too much good food!  The kids enjoyed playing together, and we even hit the

Pine Cone Bird Seed Feeders

waterslides in Chelan, which was quite the hit!  It was nice to sit around with real folks, and even have some moments of doing NOTHING.  While the weather had cooled off for the beginning of their trip, it warmed up, and we had some gorgeous evenings, and star filled nights.  We do of course miss our dinners together, but we are happy to share in a new chapter of our lives, and know that most understand the logic for our move, and we enjoy when people can see that first hand.   



Like all vacations though, time flies, and it seems reality comes around much too quickly to snap you out of the day dream.........  So after our guests departed today, we were back to work.  I had a couple of things to handle for school, and then we made a stop at the building supply store in town to talk to a gentleman about drawing our house plans!!  It seems my uncle has pulled off a less than 24 hour deal with the first person who placed an escalated offer on Rudy's house, and it has officially closed.  I'm not sure it could have gone more smoothly, once on the market.  We feel pretty lucky, and humbled.  But, in true Team Brown fashion, one door closing, means the construction of another.  Exciting, and overwhelming at the same time, when you are doing it yourself.  There is a zillion items running through our minds right now, but at the end of the day, I am certain nothing will stop us.