There's No Place Like The Homestead

We are back from a bit of a hiatus.  Left the chaos that was our life at home, and took to the wilds of Idaho.  We rented a beachfront house on Priest Lake with my folks and brother.  It was a bit of a walk down memory lane as my mom grew up going there with her family, and my folks in turn took us when we were kids.  Priest is a crystal clear lake with darn near Hawaii like white sandy beaches spotting it's shoreline.  It's off the main road far enough to not attract as many travelers as some of the other nearby lakes, but I was blown away with how many new enormously fancy houses there were.  The cabin we rented was perfect; old enough to feel homey, with all the modern amenities one would like for a laid back week (we do plenty of roughing it).  There was plenty of space for us all, and Cam and I were lucky to sleep on the screened in porch, falling asleep to the sound of the creek running through the property and swirled in fresh air coming off the lake.  We didn't really do all that much.... the weather was unremarkable which limited our beach time, but I was ok with that-- in fact I think it was just what we needed.  The kids enjoyed exploring a new area, living in a cabin, picking huckleberries, and of course having their grandparents at their beck and call for a whole week!  Cam did not stay the entire week due to houses that need to be built and animals to care for, but we were able to do some fishing, and explore the wilderness of the upper part of the lake.  Upper Priest is accessed by a waterway that reminds me of a combination of Alaska and the Everglades.  It opens into this secluded portion of the lake that is only accessible via boat.  There is no civilization in sight... heavily treed mountains surround you, and you get the feeling that if the world as we knew it came to an end, you'd be just fine. 

Our first visit to Upper Priest, was myself, my brother and my husband.  We must have had the powers of the earth on our side, as we hit a once in a season fishing time---- a mayfly hatch.  I have never seen more fish activity in my life, second to feeding time at a hatchery.  Fish were literally jumping in every direction (at one point I told my brother that maybe we should just troll around as they were sure to just land in our boat).  I quickly hooked a decent kokanee, and the boys didn't take long to catch up.  The excitement of the evening was centered on the fly rod.  Cam quickly changed gear to match the hatch, and floated a perfect fly.  It's so fun to watch a fly rod, as you can see the fish attack...and I may be known for my overzealous excitement with a fish on.  It's just one of those things that makes you feel like your an able person.  Cam hooked a couple on the fly rod, and my brother almost had one on it as well.  Talk about living!   Unfortunately, my dad and I did not have the same luck when we went several days later.  Leave it to me to gush about the miraculous fish infested waters, and then lead a man to a fishless day.  As Cam would say, "I guess that's why they call it fishing and not catching." 

After Cam left, my folks and I took the kids back up to the upper lake, and enjoyed a remote beach; my mom and the kids picked huckleberries, and Kendyl had herself a good long nap on the beach, and all the way home on the boat.  Land holds strong memories and emotions, there is nothing as stable as the dirt (or sand) beneath or feet to remind us of distant times.  Other memories we made this trip include a fun night of board games with the whole crew, Cam and Dad having epic chess wars, Barret learning chess, huckleberry pancakes, me catching up on two years of sleep deprivation, and sharing it all with a new generation.

Vacation is Tough on a Girl

Nevertheless, a week is a good amount of time to be away from home, and I'm becoming more of a homebody as I age.  The kids had a blast, but we were all ready to be back on the ranch and back to a bit of normal.  Bear told me "he missed dad, and our old life" on the morning we left, so I think we timed it fairly well.  Thankful for my parents for making it happen, it's a place that holds a lot of good memories!!   

Back on the ranch, we are right back to it.  Cam and Dad were standing the last big wall within hours of arriving back home.  It was a bit dicey--I'm quickly discovering that this house seems a bit more dangerous than our last, and it makes me nervous about the roofing process coming up.  As always, the guys prevailed though, without injury... THANK GOD!  Cam has really had to think creatively without a team of friends and equipment nearby.  We of course have had help, but it's been a much more primitive process this go round.  The focus to this project and others around our property seems to be returning though, and I feel these next few months will be fairly productive.

The Chief

After my folks headed back over the hump, I relished in my ducklings being back underfoot at home, and even put some miles on my big 'ol horse.  I weeded the garden, tended to the animals, and we took in a movie in town this afternoon.  It feels good to have more time to focus on the home, there is nothing that sets my flame afire quite like it.  Without guilt I was out in the garden after getting the kids to bed, and plan on being found there again tomorrow.  Time is a precious commodity, and there always seems to be more projects than the seasons can hold.  I feel like with school finishing, I am just beginning to soak in the fact we moved to Eastern Washington.  We moved yearning for a slower way of life, but truly when you start with bare land, and no work crew, there is not much simplicity that occurs.  Would I change it???  Well..... I'd definitely have a few more fences, and a milk cow....  a nice big barn would be ok.........but no, I think Cam and I enjoy a genuine challenge/struggle----- a fight, a proving field for our own warrior spirits.  It's what we are good at, and in our hearts we know it's why we are together... the endless pursuit of a way of life, the checking off of goals, survival--and most importantly the brick by brick building of our family.  This is our legacy in action.

Childhood: Best Experienced Barefoot With a Trusty Friend

There's

Holding the Line

I've made it.  I have officially and successfully completed the nursing program.  It's quite a strange feeling really, and I'm not sure that I have completely wrapped my mind around the idea that I don't have to stay up until 1 AM to study tonight.

These last two years have been a grind, one of the biggest and most intense challenges that I have faced.  Natural labor, well shoot, that only lasted for around 10 hours (and was fabulously amazing).  I'm at a loss for adequate words for how this venture has changed me.  I am a worker by nature, my parents have given me the drive to attack whatever challenge at hand with 110% effort.  I don't nap, I can't sit for long, and I like to be moving forward.  That being said, I have been treading water for many years... searching for something, outside of family, that I could apply myself too.  Nursing was about the farthest thing from my radar, as I grew up with a nurse, and heard all the gory details from a young age.  Be it rebellion, or common sense, I wanted nothing to do with it (despite the amazing nurse my mother is).  But when I was faced with having a significant other (and the prospects of a family), I wanted something that would honor them, and satisfy my "people centered" nature.  I began this journey almost 10 years ago, when Cam was generous enough to support me quitting my job to get my nursing assistant certification and go back to school.  Looking back, I think I was fairly lost..... Boy, how times have changed.

If you've been following along since the beginning of my blog, you would know that we moved the weekend prior to me starting school.  The first day was one of the worst.  I didn't have internet access, so therefore did not do an assignment that was due the first day (what a great first impression).  We were living in our 24' travel trailer in our meadow, which has since burned, with an outhouse, and generators when we really needed power-- and Barrett the first day sliced his head open with a bungee he stretched out too far and came back to split his head open.  Tears, many tears, questions of what the heck I was doing, and little sleep characterized those first months.  Quarter by quarter the pattern repeated with incremental improvements.  We moved our trailer up to an area I could have internet service, then eventually into our shop.  Every night was about the same.. kids to bed around 8, then my work began and didn't stop until around 1 AM.   AND CAM.... Cam has been the soldier, marching me through the motions, providing strength, warm meals, encouragement, and frankly overlooking the times when I reached the end of my rope.  He's taken on daily care of the kids, helping build our shop, and now building a home.  Our transition to different roles has not been easy, but yet nothing we ever do seems to be "normal," and easy has never been in our cards.  I have often mourned the loss of my role in the household, and am still trying to realize the scope of my efforts.

BUT... here we are.  On the other end of sacrifice.  We have made it, intact, as a family.  After we built our first house, Cam and I often said that if that could be done with a newborn, nothing could stop us.  But I'm fairly certain, nursing school takes the cake.    We continue to persevere as a family, and really that is all we could hope for.  On a personal level, I have found something that is so innately a piece of my being, that I can't help but pinch myself to now be getting a paycheck for it.  There is nothing as amazing as being able to touch lives the way nurses can, to truly help those in need, or to give respect to a life.  It is something that no one can understand unless you stand in those shoes.  I am proud of myself for FINALLY completing something, but the best reward is having someone in need thank you for your help, your non-judgemental presence, or the kind touch that turned an awful situation into something manageable.  That is powerful!

Right now, I am enjoying nap time without a huge textbook... I brushed my horses, tended to animals, and am preparing for the speech I was asked to give at our pinning ceremony (YIKES).  I feel both a huge weight off my shoulders, and the anticipation of starting a new job and all the learning that is yet to be done.  Most of all I am grateful.  Number one, hands down for my husband, that has gotten me through it all, seen me cry more times than one can count, who has reassured me I am still a good mom despite my absence, and who has been a large part of the reason I completed this.   I'm thankful for all the friendships made, and new family gained.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to have proven to myself what I am capable of............... there is no one who can crush a spirit more like yourself, but I think I'm finally getting through my thick skull what I possess inside of me.  I'm happy to be able to care for my family well, doing something I truly enjoy.   

So here is to new adventures, new beginnings, and more time being at home.  Here is to the struggle that leaves us so far from the person we were when we began.  Here is to the success of a family unit and the demonstration to children of what it takes to reach goals.  Here is to a good night sleep.......