Over The Mounatins and Back Again

I completed my second quarter of school last Wednesday.  I ended up doing really well and am happy to report I am 29% of the way through this program.... not that I'm counting down the days or anything.  It's amazing the time and energy invested by all in Team Brown to get me through this program, and I have to say it is encouraging to see the fruit of my labor, and hope that feeling will continue through the final 71%.  Things always look so much more pleasant in the spring too.... the sun has been out, it's warming up, and we've been starting on some fun projects around here.  We've
been getting back to hiking around with the kids, and it warms my heart the little projects and imaginative play they come up with together.  They love picking wildflowers for mom, and I often come home with bursting pockets full; it reminds me of the pride we'd have when my grandma would put buttercups in a fancy vase after we we collected them just for her. 

Spring break started right off as we hit the road shortly after I got home from my final exam.  The time has come to begin the process of cleaning Cam's grandfather's home and prepare it for the real estate market.  It's a bit of a daunting task both emotionally and physically, but it is something that needs to get done.  Going through a lifetime worth of belongings with Connie was emotional!  It's amazing the stuff that you collect, and the memories that are left behind when you pass; a trail left by generations of family.  I really felt honored to be part of Rudy's life, and we of course are blessed to be left with so much--both in mind and hand.  Possessions are given meaning by the people who
touch them, the feelings behind them, and the moments they are part of; we pass things on not because we love the color or pattern of a plate that could easily break, but because of the meals that have been served, the conversation that has drifted over them, and the thought that someday, far after you are gone, you will still be a part of the breaking of bread and family togetherness.  I always tell Cam semi-jokingly that I try to do tasks with love, whether it's painting a chicken coop or cooking, maybe it's that same concept, that a little piece of us is left behind for those who come after.
 
Our geographical circumstances have obviously changed a bit though, and we have our work cut out for us with the cleaning and maintenance that needs to be done.  I will be staying here with the kids while Cam makes the journey over the pass to work on the weekends.  It will be tough for a while, but as I have told Cam, we haven't seem to found our limit yet, so I'm sure we will get through it.  For us it seems to come in storms; why wouldn't we get chicks, a puppy, a remodel job, and be separated while going to nursing school???  I often wonder what Rudy would think of our move.  I'm not sure he'd ever really tell us, but I think he'd like the adventure and have plenty of memories to compare it too.  We were able to visit a few family and friends, and even get a date night while we were home, and as always are so thankful for our families help and support with our seemingly never ending projects.  Our shop on the eastern hill is definitely beginning to feel more like home though, and driving home today felt good as the traffic thinned out, the blue sky appears, and you just take a deep breath and slow down

for a minute.... Right before you blow a trailer tire!  Luckily, we were near a gas station right outside of Omak when it happened, but we felt that tell-tale shake (I'm very familiar with flat tires after having 4 since moving) saw the smoke, and our journey was halted.  Not for long though, Cam had that baby changed in no time flat, and we were back on the road, for a short trip home.

The kids were excited to try out some new garden tools my mom got them, so hit the dirt/gravel pile while we unloaded the truck and trailer.  It will be a busy couple days before Cam heads back over the mountain.  I have chicken coop doors and windows to paint, homework will be starting soon, and with the nice weather, we have rarely been inside.  Our farming projects will be pushed back a bit with my farm hand busy elsewhere, but I'm hoping to at least do some container gardening, or maybe a couple small beds.  Under the dry top layer of dust, the soil around here seems surprisingly fertile.  We really enjoy seeing the seasons change in a new place, and although we know the next few months will be challenging, I'm sure they will be filled with new adventures and small triumphs as well. 

Pouring Concrete

I believe both Cam and me have inherited a bit of Gypsy from our ancestors.  We both have within us a taste for "something" new, are rarely 100% satisfied, and haven't, as of yet, been able to sit back and watch the sunset without wondering what will be on the other side of it.  It's something we talk about working on, being able to just enjoy a moment without chaos, but it never seems to quite work out that way.  Like they say though, hard work never killed anybody, and as crazy as our world gets, our elbow grease seems to always get us one step closer to sitting on the front porch enjoying what we have created.   

Well the wood project has finally come to an end.  Cam figures we have around 16 cords... an amount that should last us a FEW years.  Three weeks of splitting, stacking, moving, and a little bit of cursing; we should've kept track of how many hours Cam was hard at it.  I've always really enjoyed chopping wood for it's therapeutic exercise/stress relieving factor, but I'd say I'm ok taking a break for a few years, I'll find other ways to enjoy myself!  Nevertheless, we got it done, and I do have to say seeing the massive plot of diced up timber is something to behold... and be proud of!  We returned the wood splitter to our neighbor for a trade of around a cord of firewood, and took the afternoon off.


My dad had made the journey over to visit us and I'll admit we were not very good hosts.  We put him to work helping us with the wood and when we finished, he got kid duty while me and Cam got a few moments to ourselves.  It was so nice to have him here though, and to show him the progress we had made on the shop and surroundings.  He was amazed by the quiet in these parts, and the kids sure enjoyed him as did we.  Looking forward to the day when we can ride horses again together and explore; and he can put up a little cabin for visiting.  

After he left, we didn't waste much time in getting back to work.  I had my first of four final tests before the quarter is over next week, and we started on the chicken coop.  Cam's had some creative building ideas, and we have collected some salvaged materials from around the property, including some old planks for siding, windows, and a door.  He's hoping it will turn out like an old western building!  I ordered up my chicks, so we should be back in the egg/meat business this year!!!  

There is something about these projects we have been working on... Something well concrete about adding to the ponderosa, setting down some roots/posts and forging our way of life.  We both have made note of this transition several times in the last couple weeks, and I have to say we both seem to be smiling because of it.  I, of course, have always dreamed of the farm life, I love my ducklings under my wing and look forward to all things that this life will bring: fresh food, working together, exploration by horseback, and simple skills passed on.  It gives me motivation to get through school; to be able to work hard for my family... and hopefully someday enjoy the perks of a good job (why not buy a few more cows??).  Cam of course loves calling home a place where mule deer rule the hillsides, and he really excels at homestead skills and looks forward to more self reliance.  I can see him running the smoke house and packing home the food that shares our land and will provide us with the food we need.  We feel like we have changed the trajectory of our arrow... and have no regrets.  Maybe 6 months is a settling in point, or we are just enjoying the "fun" building projects, or maybe it's soaking in that we jumped... and landed on our feet. 

Oh Sunday...

This picture pretty much sums up how I feel about Sundays!  I think the Hebrews got it right having Saturday as the day of rest, when you can really appreciate the down time.  Sunday starts out so happy and at home, loving life, family time, and then boom... you're packing up to go back to the grind.  Like what the heck happened to the weekend?  Did it really just disappear??






We had a good weekend here on the 'ol ponderosa.  I had a 13 hour clinical day Thursday, so was more than ready to spend some time at home.  I got a couple gorgeous morning runs in, in the wee hours before the family was out of bed.  The sun is coming up around 6 or so, but until it raises above our Eastern hill, it's quite chilly still (28 or so).  Nonetheless, there is something therapeutic about being out in the morning, and I have to say I have some of the best running ground to explore.  I am certain to improve my leg muscles quickly, as there is only one way to go around here, and that's up.  It's definitely a happy place for me, getting that fresh air exercise, and I don't miss out on family time if I'm early about it.  Things that are different about running over here: Riggs has not worn a leash for months, vertical feet are plenty, cougars and bears are the only creeps I worry about, and I can't remember the last time my piggies hit the pavement....
 
Cam has put some major hours into firewood lately.  We had that log truck load delivered a bit ago, and Cam figures its anywhere from 10-15 cords of wood.  That's a lot.  The kid's are finally over their stuffy noses, so we were all out working on the project throughout the weekend.  Cam borrowed our neighbors wood splitter, and went to work.  We like to argue like an old married couple about the proper way to do wood... I like to chop it normal, and Cam has been wanting a wood splitter for some time.  I tell Cam that it's good for my hand eye coordination in case I ever need to pick up a baseball bat again, and there's something satisfying about chopping wood.... it's the homesteader's gym replacement, not to mention the best source of heat.  That being said, if you saw the pile of wood I'm talking about, you would probably slap me in the face and high tail it to the North 40 (the farm store in Omak) and buy yourself a wood splitter just to HELP Cam.  He figures it will take him through this week at least to finish.... Which is SUPER exciting because then it's chicken coop time. .... YAYYYYYYYYYYYY! I'm pretty ready to have my brood, and fresh eggs back.  I ordered my second catalog from this family owned operation in Iowa that ships out heritage chicks, so I am ready, to say the least!  They do seeds and poultry, mail in order only, no internet... and I sold all the ones I had from them last year when we moved; I had some really cool looking ones, so hope to try them again!   

After our chores were done, we took a drive up to check out Lake Chopaka.  It's North-west of us; taking a gorgeous route through some amazing Double R Ranch cattle land.  Cam salivates about coyote hunting, me about ranch life.... It's a good Sunday drive for all.  Icy roads deterred us from making it to our destination, but we enjoyed the scenery that's for sure, and will try again in a month or two.  As you can probably tell by now, our social life is a lot more reserved around here.  I'm consumed with school, we live somewhat isolated, and we really did want to slow down....  So we do things like talk, entertain ourselves, explore, Cam drinks too much coffee in the mornings and makes us laugh... Really revolutionary stuff people, I highly recommend it!  

Camburgers and Apple Pie

Today we celebrated Cam's birthday... well, the festivities began yesterday.  I had finished a tough exam at school, came home and took the kiddos for a walk in the sunshine.  I remembered I had stashed away a gift card for a cabin getaway in Winthrop that my folks had given us for Christmas, and eureka... what a better time than a birthday and post test anxiety.  So, we packed up and left the mountains.  We seem to really be living it up lately (just been lucky I guess), but we were just discussing how those days will quickly come to an end as our homestead grows, and there are more mouths to feed (animals not kids people)and chores that need to be done.  

 For the time being though, I think we are somewhat enchanted with our new location and enjoy exploring around us, and my mom really spoils us when it comes to things like this.  The cabin we stayed in was awesome!  Cam's always a little anti-Winthrop due what he would call the "patchouli factor" (ie... too many hipsters), but man he was ready to join the crowd when he saw the hot tub on the porch that looked out over the river.  What a place... and to think we didn't have to cross a pass to get there (well actually we did --the Loup, but it was definitely not a 4 hour drive)!  The kids loved it of course, and we were able to just walk downtown for dinner at Cam's favorite hunting hitching post "Three Finger Jacks."  I don't really care how hippy it is, I love the decor, and know that if I have a past life, it was spent in a time period such as Winthrop emulates... coming to town once a month with my horse, wagon, shotgun and hearing the cowboys boots hit the wooden plank sidewalks.  I love it.  Thanks mom!

I'd like to say, Cam and I stayed up staring into eachothers eyes while the hot tub jetted around us, but being a parent is 24/7, and poor little B came down with a nasty case of congestion that left me sleeping in the king master bedroom with B on my chest and Bear close by, while Cam was left with the smaller bed all by his lonesome.... HA talk about foiled romance!  We got a couple hours of couple time in though, which is always nice, and we always have a good time together, when the world is pushed aside for a fleeting moment before there's a half naked toddler at your sliding glass door!  You have to enjoy the moments when you can, my cousin told me recently that your time is the best thing you can give someone, and I'm really trying to make the few down moments we have count. 

 Kendyl woke seriously under the weather, so we had an early breakfast in Twisp, and hit the road.  The kids rarely (thank God), get sick.  It's like mother hen mode when they do though.... Vicks, fluids, humidifier, rest... there's part of me that sickly enjoys their poor little faces when all they want is to snuggle and SIT STILL with mom (knowing it's only a little cold of course).  After a good nap today, I think she's on the mend though, and I'm not sure what could slow that girl down two days in a row.

Anyone who knows Cam, knows that burgers were on the menu, and he has been requesting a pie for sometime now, so I set to work on that as well.  Bear helped me with the pie crust, and rolled some of the extras (which seemed to disappear magically).  Birthdays are such fun, and it's a good time to celebrate a person.  Cam never fails to amaze me in his ability to remain positive about whatever is going on with our life.  He's freakishly positive and stable, which is good because I may be a little more on the what I like to call "highly passionate" side.  We are good partners though, and I know everything is better with him by my side.  Burgers and pie were a success!  I forgot how good apple pie really is....

One exciting piece of homestead news is... we may be adding to our brood!!!!!  No Gram, not a baby.... a Pup!  I have been looking for sometime now (like years), for a female Ridgeback.  When researching the breed, it's very evident the gender differences in these dogs... It's like a lion pride... Females hunt, kill, defend... and the males step in when some muscle is needed to finish the job.  I of course, love this, and have dreamed of the dog that will basically be the kid's bodyguard, and my running companion.  Anyway, I actually started looking at importing one directly from South Africa, because we were told it's fairly similar cost wise, but ended up finding a somewhat local breeder.  So... we may be expanding!  Our first Eastern Washington baby!  

My countdown to the end of the quarter is on... so the next few weeks will be pretty intense.  Cam's rented out our neighbor's wood splitter, and is looking to possibly buy a welding machine to start a few jobs here and there as our schedule allows.  Like I said, there's a lot of unknowns, but I feel like we always make it happen one way or the other.  The weather has been gorgeous, but chilly here, and the threat of possibly a little more snow has been whispered about.  The locals seem to be worried about the lack of snow pack and how dry that will make things come summer, and the lack of water that is already showing.  It's a different feeling living in a place where nature actually affects your livelihood/potential safety.  While we dealt with flooding a bit back home, it never seemed to affect the community as a whole, but here it's fire danger, crops, animals, and homes depending on the tendencies of 'ol Mother Nature. 

I always tell Cam that I don't know how this blog will continue, because I'm not the world's most exciting person, but I always seem to have things to catch up on and talk about....
Bear turned 4 this past week.  Hard to believe really.  Seems like just yesterday Cam and my mom were plotting against me to get me to the hospital so they didn't have to deliver a baby on their own.... I always have thought Cam would've done just as good as any doc! 

To celebrate the big 4 year old we took a little road trip to Idaho.  A nice novelty about moving is being able to explore farther East then we have in the past.  Kellogg, Idaho was our destination, a quaint mining town now host to a ski resort and indoor waterslides! We hit Cabela's and Couer d' Alene on the way, and enjoyed a scenic drive through Northern Washington and into Idaho. Kellogg, once home to a silver mine, now is a resort town nestled in the mountains and near a beautiful Idaho river.  It was a gorgeous weekend for exploring new territory.  After waking up "in a new state," as Cam likes to remind us, we had some time to kill before hitting the slides; so we decided to go on the longest gondola in the United States!  A 3.2 mile climb to the ski lodge above the town.  The kids loved it, as did we.  We have grown  used to seeing the open land, and the trees seemed a change for us.  Next, was the waterslides!!!  What fun to watch Barrett.  I am so happy with his courage and adventurous spirit.  As a mom, I of course am protective and always wondering how he will handle different situations, but at the same time we intentionally encourage exploration, and he never fails to amaze us.  Once he figured out the slides, it was on!  Even Kendyl, running on no nap, was game for anything!  Bear was so proud to go on the slides by himself!!  There is nothing like the joy of your child. 
The kids wore themselves out.. Kendyl tried to fall asleep at dinner and was "officially" in bed by 6:30 and slept for 13 hours or so!  If a child's happiness is measured by how hard they sleep, I'd say we had an all around successful birthday weekend.  The resort is gorgeous and I could definitely see heading back sometime. 
We arrived back home to Cal and Dottie, who had joined us the week before we left, after one of my long school weeks.  Very nice to spend some time with them, and enjoyed another birthday celebration for Barrett and Cam.  It's nice to have the company, even when I have my nose stuck in a
book.  Cal gave Cam a hand with the endless pile of wood we seem to have, and they were able to take the quads out.  We always enjoy their company!

This was a short week for me (only one day of school and no clinicals), and let me tell you.... I could get used to this schedule!  We took advantage of the sun, and melted snow, to get up in the state land above our property to look for shed antlers.  We didn't have any luck on the shed front, but it was nice to stretch our legs, get outside, and reacquaint ourselves with the territory.  We were impressed how much Bear hiked, and it felt good to be out and about.  Cam continued to work on the wood pile throughout the week and me and the kids have had some good outside time.  I was able to get a good run in as well.  We seem to be gaining strength.   

Had a good visit with the neighbors and 3 of their kiddos today; nice to have some kids around, and some adult conversation as well.  The kids play hard, and I know it's probably good for them to see some faces other than ours every once in a while.  We certainly spend a lot of time thinking about their future and how we'd like to attempt to shape it.  Maybe the norm isn't all it's cracked up to be, this world sure seems to be in a spiral.....  We have a lot of unknowns right now, our 5 year plan is definitely written in sand for easy editing.  Nevertheless, our wings are stretched and the view is fine. 

Put your big girl panties on and....

There's a new sense of life around here with just the brief change of weather.  The snow has melted on our hillside, and while it remains down in the meadow, most our roads are clear and we are able to spend increasing amounts of time outside with the kids.  It sounds like a small change, and  I alluded to it a bit in my last blog, but I can tell you that spirits are lifting around here.  Two factors I think are at play.  One is a feeling of accomplishment for making it through the winter.  We survived the travel trailer in sub 10 degree weather, we took bare land and added to it water, power, and shelter, and we remain standing together.  Maybe it's a bit like childbirth, maybe God helps you remember the good stuff,  and forget some of the bad, because really you don't have much choice but to do it all over again!  The other part of the equation is the hint of spring in our step.  We get to be outside more, which I believe is one of the most powerful mood boosters.  The skies have cleared and we are reminded as we look around of the power of what we have done and the beauty that surrounds us.  We are looking forward to spring projects including building a chicken coop, a bit of fencing, and gardening...  practically paradise if you ask me.  There is just a boost generated from the swirling of all these emotions, that winters' troubles are no more, and we can finally put our best Muck boot forward.

Let my pause for a moment to catch you up on current Team Brown happenings.  We are now eating all at a table!  Cam built us an awesome "picnic" table.  I so enjoy being able to share a meal as a family again, there is just something to say for that.  Today he got an outdoor light up, which I'm sure will be nice to have on my early mornings.  Currently though, I am taking a brain break from homework, its around 10:30PM  and my husband has decided to make himself a hamburger.  Anyone who knows anything about Cam knows that heaven for Cam probably looks something like this.... A day of successful deer hunting in the backwoods, hunting coyotes with Dale Jr. on the way to the Daytona 500, where he is proceeded to be fed hand pressed bacon cheeseburgers (by his lovely wife of course--- who else were you imagining).   Hey, when you get a craving in your head... you make a hamburger at 10:30.  

Meanwhile, the youngest member of Team Brown is sleeping... in her big girl Tinkerbell undies.  Kendyl spotted a package of undies I had set away for her the other day, and she was done with diapers.... I mean flat out refused to have one back on her tender buns.  So, we are potty training (or being potty trained, I'm not sure).  It's a big day for us, because we have been in the diaper game for darn near 4 years.  It's a big moment and I'm sure if we had any babysitters within 200 miles we would be celebrating.  She is stubborn... Lord only knows where she gets that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Another thing..... we figured out this year the true meaning of "spring cleaning."  I really always thought it was some 1950's husbands ploy to get his wife to deep clean the house... but no,  I'm pretty sure spring cleaning is derived from people who live in areas that actually get a fair amount of snow.  See, you can never really predict when that first snow is going to come, so you forget to clean up your yard/property, and then the snow comes.... and in places that get real winters it never goes away until spring.  So, when the thaw comes it's like Christmas, you find that pitchfork you've been searching for, any construction garbage that flew around in a storm and got buried, and about three months worth of dog residue.... Hence the Spring Clean.  It all makes sense now.

After we spent yesterday afternoon spring cleaning, Cam took a dump run this morning while I was being potty trained, I mean potty training.  We had a rather uneventful morning, but got to stretch our legs on a little hike around the property this afternoon.  It's been some time since we could really do our loop, and it was nice!  Bear is quite the character hiking around.  He really launches himself Up and Down the hills.  He likes to tell us he's going to stay behind and then stalk us by running from tree to tree or army rolling down the hills.   Kendyl likes to find whatever snow patch she can and eat a handful, and she definitely likes to stop and smell the pinecones (she may be the world's slowest hiker, but maybe she's just light years ahead us in nature appreciation).  Cam figures the bears are probably getting ready to wake up, and we noticed quite a few small buds on the bushes down in the
canyon.  Like I said... hope.  Time to dust of the running shoes......   

The Thaw

I apologize for the delay... extra moments are hard to create these days.  I definitely have been letting down my publisher (Cam). 

Things here are.... MUDDY.  I believe we may have seen the last of the snow fall, but we aren't counting it out.  Nevertheless, the roads are a Jeep's dream.  We have gotten some reprieve from the fog that has kept us socked in, and I have to say, WOW!  Cam and I walked up to our future house site today and the movies were flowing: drinking coffee soaking in the early morning Eastern Washington sun, a patio overlooking simple beauty, a garden oasis behind the house with the wildlife gracing us with their passing presence.. yes please!  We've been making plans for a chicken coop and a few outbuildings to grace our land.  It's a challenge to start from bare land, but we shape everything that happens, and Cam's hands make it real; there's something to say for that.  We enjoy dreaming up a blueprint, and creating our ranch.  It's nice to think about these things... our goals in the midst of somewhat controlled chaos. 

After a 12 hour clinical day Thursday my husband made me a fabulous dinner that led into a three day weekend.  We took a chance and waded through the mud to the park in Conconully.  It's one of my favorite drives... ranches, rolling hills, and OLD ranches.  The kids enjoyed the park.... until Bear took a spill in an icy puddle. So he rode in his skivvies home.  It's a cute little town.  We were reminded of one of the last times we were there; property searching...Cal and Dottie had come over to visit us.. and it was hot!  We have been here for almost 6 months and have seen summer, fall, and winter, with spring in sight.  Today we rode the quads farther than we have gone for quite some time.  While the ice is less, we took turns pulling eachother out of snow banks.  There is something powerful though about the promise of spring; weathering the storm, the promise of something new and bountiful.    
 
Had a great weekend away with good friends and my parents.  Cam went on his annual coyote derby down near Moses Lake.  I was glad for him to get a break, and he so enjoys the predator chase.  Anna graciously made the journey to our mountain estate to watch the kiddos while I had a long clinical day, during which I of course returned to my car to find a flat tire (the third since moving here).  When it rains it pours!  After a popcorn stop at Les Schwab we met Derrick down in Wenatchee and had an amazing sushi dinner.  It was so nice to visit with them, I had such a great time!  My parents then met us in Leavenworth to enjoy a pre birthday party for Bear and some time together.  What a great place they arranged, a lot of good childhood memories there.  The kids are definitely beyond blessed by all the love they are showered with, and it is nice to reconnect when we can.  We returned home for the Super Bowl with our neighbors and their family.  Enjoyed the good company and good food before the end of the mini vacation. 





School continues to be a challenge.  And yes I seem to have risen to the academic occasion, but it's a hard balance to keep, and I fear I am not the best juggler.  It's a battle I'm trying to keep in stride and remind myself of the end goal for my family and myself.  The journey though, that's where one should place their attention, and I'm trying to hang on to that.  Sometimes not quitting or giving up is the biggest measure of success...

At War

I never really wanted to be a nurse growing up, it wasn't my calling, heck I really didn't even like blood and have been known to have "adverse reactions."  It was more so the direction I didn't want to go.  Career paths I often considered were: farmer, wildlife biologist, archeologist, bed and breakfast owner... you get the picture.  At some point though, you realize you have to find a path that can pay the bills, provide for your family, and make you feel like a somewhat productive human being.  So, why not choose something I wasn't exactly sure if I could stomach, and a fairly intensive course of study... Right???.  Cam's always telling me that I am not happy with myself unless pushing myself to some sort of personal limits.  I like to pretend I am totally capable of being a zen peaceful mother, but it's not always accurate.  The challenge of natural childbirth, school/work/family balance, running as far as I can; I may be one of those sick people that just loves to torture themselves just for the sake of the challenge. 

Wednesday I came home from class in an excited nervous stupor.  My instructor told me I was to observe a surgical procedure the following day, Thursday.  I immediately played the movie of me, in the operating room, either throwing up, or passing out, hitting my head on something, ending up as a humiliated nursing student in the ER (hopefully they would have decent popsicles).  I almost told them in advance NOT to call my husband, that I would gladly walk 10+ miles home while I recovered both physically and mentally. So I watched a few You Tube movies, freaked myself out, practiced blurring my eyes without it looking like I wasn't watching the gross parts, phoned a few people in the medical field, had a glass of wine and called it a night.  I'm not sure if I slept much, but I made it to the hospital in time, and managed to eat a little something.  I was already sweating and contemplating wearing a helmet???  I met up with my nurse, changed into OR scrubs, and headed in with a full on battle playing in my mind. They told me not to worry if I got woozy, but just to sit down, it happens to a lot of people, even the most experienced.  Sometimes though, you feel like your character is being tested, and no one wants to fail that exam. 

Initial anesthesia went well (needles I don't mind), and I was set up in full view of the procedure.  Incision, not so bad, I started relaxing knowing the surgical timeline in my mind, that really I could probably keep from falling over for how long it would take.  I'll spare you the gory details for both patient privacy and the fact you may be eating a fabulous snack while you read this.  Needless to say though, by the end of the surgery I was ready to jump right in.  It was AMAZING.  I couldn't believe how interested I was in inner body parts and what doctors could do to them.  The human body is really incredibly complex, but then at the same time it's totally logical and perfectly constructed to make sense.  I told Cam it's probably like working on a car, once you know what you are looking at, and how it functions is very apparent.  Anyway, I rocked it.  Totally conquered one of my biggest fears in life, and got the confidence boost that maybe my limits had just been stretched a bit farther. 

In modern day America, the average person has it pretty easy.  As a whole we don't fear for our safety, wonder where our next meals will come from, or spend the twilight hours sharpening our swords ready to defend someone's honor or beliefs.  We live in peaceful autopilot, rarely pushing the limits.  I mean don't you ever want to paint yourself with war paint, jump on a horse, yell really loud and go to battle??.  When do you ever get an opportunity to go balls to the wall.  Sports are about the only thing left where we can satisfy that inner warrior, and now everyone is supposed to win anyway, so where's the fun in that and how does that teach anyone to strive or push past their safety net?   We are fortunate, of course, that we don't have such things to worry about, but it leaves people unsatisfied and unwilling to act.  Tune into the discovery channel, people are now going to great lengths to try and reverse our technical evolution, to go back to basic survival and challenge.  I know Cam and I feel that desire often. 

Do I want my kids to experience a country wide depression, civil war, or the like? No... absolutely not.  But I want them to know the power they possess and have some fire under them.  I don't want fear to cripple their actions or expectations to limit their drive.  As a best parent, sometimes the best place to start is with yourself.   

Adaptation

On the way home today we were discussing how we hardly feel the cold around here anymore.  I generally wear a sweater when running errands or going to school, but the length of our outdoor adventures has greatly increased.  If the weather stays above 20 degrees we are good to go, with life progressing as usual.  We ride quads, play outside, go for walks all in weather that usually would have been cause for alarm.  I guess you could say we are adapting. 

There has been a lot of that along this journey.  First it was adapting to the change of lifestyle.  Being compressed into functioning out of a trailer forces quick mental and physical change.  It meant starting a generator before any power could be provided, walking 100 yards (downhill one way) to use the "facilities," and all the problems associated with these activities in 9 degree weather.  Then it was me transitioning to life outside of being mom and housewife and only part time employee.  It's been transitioning to having a village like support system, to being alone, 20 minutes on gravel, to a road that can't even be found on GPS.   It's Cam planning how to provide power, water, and living amenities on a BARE piece of land with our name on it.  I could write a book on all the challenges he has already faced. 

For years I have kept in my car a little note my dad wrote that says "Loop--Remember it's about the journey when you get to your destination."  Although I looked at it everyday for who knows how long, it's really sunk in lately.  One thing we always say is how busy we constantly are.  There is always something going on, and more often than not several somethings at a time.  Ever since we got married it has literally been non stop, kid, work, friends, family, school,  another kid, repeat, move.  How many times during a week do you think "wow, I am so busy where did the week go?"  You want to know why???  It's because we are living in auto pilot.  How often do you actually think about what you're doing?  It's more so zombie land... get up, feed kids, shower, go to do whatever it is you do, come home, eat, bed.  Repeat... Repeat.. Repeat...   We have all the amenities to make it easy, but our brains, and more so mindfulness are wasting away in repetition. 

I've been doing a little experiment lately, because my days are so packed.  I'm going from 5:30 to sometimes 1 in the morning.  Kids, school, studying, husband, and somewhere in between eat and use the indoor "facilities."  I've been trying to actually think about what I'm doing.... being in the moment if you will.  It's amazing what it will do to your day... I highly recommend trying it.  Turn off the auto pilot and just pay attention to what you are doing, the people around you, and the task at hand.  Just an idea....

School is back in full swing.  I can't believe how much we have to read.  I'll be starting in the local hospital this Thursday working both Med/Surg and OB.  Very exciting.  It's a different world over here, the whole hospital is about the size of the floor I used to work on. You need to be knowledgeable in many different areas, which is scary now, but something to look forward to in the future.

We took the kids up to Osoyoos, across the border last night for a little get away.  Got a hotel, swam, and went out to eat.  It was a nice little break from studying and got us out of the mountains for a bit.  Exploring new places is one of our favorite things to do with whatever spare time we can focus in on.  Back at home now and spent the day messing around outside.  Cam set up a 300 yard target for his guns, and I worked on shooting my bow, then some snow time with the kids. 

We are certainly getting in a routine around here, but it still feels new and exciting.


"An Arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.  So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that its going to launch you into something great.  So just focus, and keep aiming."


        

       

Here We Go Again

It's a quintessential Sunday around here.  The snow is piling up in perfect silence outside, we just came back in from sledding shenanigans, the fire is crackling, and all is calm on the Eastern Washington front.  And so has been the ebb and flow of life the last few days....

The snow began sometime this morning.  We have been waiting somewhat patiently!  As I've mentioned before El Nino has somewhat destroyed our hopes of getting snowed in (and using the snow mobiles), so we watch closely to the weather report when any snow is predicted.  After testing out a new coffee cake recipe (not super impressed) we bundled up and headed out for some extreme sledding behind the quad.  Cam pulled us up, down, and all around the property.  We recently bought an "otter sled," which is supposed to be the toughest sled out there... perfect for homestead activities: hauling wood, supplies, animals, kids, moms, etc.  I have to say it has probably already earned it's keep.  Kendyl has started to enjoy the snow a bit more than she did at first, but still is not a glove lover, so naturally hates that burning cold feeling that happens when she takes them off..Ouch


One of the most exciting property developments that has occurred this week was Rigg's discovery of a predator skull near our gravel pile behind the shop.  Cam came in and showed me the ripe smelling remains and we immediately went to work identifying it.  This is the website ( http://thieroutdoors.com/black-bear-vs-mountain-lion/) http://thieroutdoors.com/black-bear-vs-mountain-lion/ found that helped us determine that is was in fact a..............................................COUGAR!!!  Based on the teeth, shape size, eye sockets, we ruled out bear.  Talk about home schooling, what a better way to learn than by having something in your hands.  We hypothesized that maybe a bird dropped it, or possibly a coyote drug it there.  Our area definitely has bear, cougar, and bobcat, so we know they are around us.

We've hardly made a dent in our log pile, and finally we have gotten the kids interested in helping (child labor at it's finest)!  Like Cam says wood warms you more than once (splitting, stacking, moving, burning); so we have yet to be cold.







My days of freedom are coming to an end tomorrow when I start back to school in the morning.  I am feeling much more equipped for success this quarter, and although I know it's a challenge, at least I have some space and technology on my side.  We are already talking about spring and the chores we'd like to get accomplished.  I can smell the pine trees and sage already.

Resolution

The New Year is a powerful time.  I'm not a believer in waiting to make "resolutions" you don't plan on following through with, but I am a goal setter, and there's something about the beginning of a year that wipes your slate and fills you with a feeling of confidence to shape the days ahead of you.  To make a list and take joy in checking items off when you conquer your goals. It's also a time to reflect on the year that has passed.  For us, it was a busy one, full of change, challenge, and creation.  I'd like to think we are just getting started..... Cam came up with a good priority list for springtime homesteading: garden, chicken coop, and root cellar.  I am so looking forward to getting chickens again; eggs from the store just don't compare, and who doesn't like baby chicks!  A garden will be a bit of a learning curve around here, learning what grows well, how to manage the heat, and how to make water stretch as far as possible.  Possibly some fencing too, if my farm hand has time, but I'm trying to be patient and not push my luck! 

Christmas was magical for the kids this year... Santa was a hit to say the least, and the childhood awe that filled our little ones, filled our hearts.  Our favorite memory of this Christmas was after Bear came out to the living room to find that Santa had indeed visited our home, he went straight to the wood stove (not burning at the time), opened the door and looked right up the chimney; this little guy is sharp!  It was a quiet day on the home front, different from our usual travels around the county.  The kids and I did journey over the pass for a few days to make the rounds at home.  It was a busy few days, but nice to catch up with family.  Although it's not the most popular decision at times, I feel confident in our move, and confident that we will press forward.

While me and the kids were away socializing Cam was working hard as always.  By himself, over the course of a couple days he built stairs up to the loft and another room for the kiddos.  Despite his curses over the stairs, his finished product was brilliant as usual.  It may seem like a simple improvement, but this has provided us with one further step in the evolution process.... EASY BEDTIME FOR MOM!!!!!  Simple pleasures like being able to put Kendyl to bed and walk away, instead of sit in the trailer and make sure she goes to sleep and doesn't crawl out of her bunk.  Humans were equipped with brains and thumbs to make these improvements and prevent moms and dads from wacking themselves with a frying pan.  Just kidding folks... for the most part! They are still sharing a room, and Barrett's mattress is under the stairs in his very own "BEAR CAVE."  Part of being a homesteader is knowing when to set yourself up for success, even if it adds to Dad's work list.  

The weather has remained in the teens and low twenties, so honestly we haven't done all that much.  I got a run in the other day, and today we drove an hour or so North to visit some friends who just bought a gorgeous home on the Kettle River.  They too are enjoying the lifestyle change.  We rang in the New Year with our neighbors and as always enjoyed their company and stories of living off the grid with 5 kids!  My days of break are unfortunately coming to an end as I start school again Monday.  I'm looking forward to working in labor and delivery this quarter and know that I can make it through much smoother will all the creature comforts Cam has built.  Hopefully it will afford us a little more balance through the intensity of the program.  Focusing on the day is one of my goals, we are constantly busy;  just like in a survival situation if you think too far ahead, you forget to accomplish the fundamental tasks of the day.  There of course needs to be foresight, but there also needs to be sanity and simple joy (possibly even boredom).  Hopefully we can add that to our 2015 garden.